Negativity wants you to lower your expectations... so that you don't get hurt anymore. Both optimism and pessimism are trying their level best to keep you afloat! That's how much you matter.
Random thought of the day!
I have an exam tomorrow, so I did all the subjects. Couldn't do as many questions, though.
I lost a National writing competition I had applied for a few months back... and that was with me trying my BEST! They took the best 75 out of 16,000 applications (that's a 0.5% acceptance rate).
It gave me a taste of my college entrance exams for some reason. With reservation and everything considered, there's always someone out there who is better than you. It's ruthless competition.
And I'm up against that.
I don't know why that shook me up so bad, but it did. I am not bitter over it; over these months my interest in it had stagnated, so that's not the problem. It's really the chances of getting something in this country, I guess.
Of course, there were several languages and age ranges and everything to consider, but that somehow parallels with reservation and the two stages of exams I'd need to give... and I don't like it at all.
I've really got to get crazy over this. It's not about Japan anymore (but it still is).
I spoke to a friend who was so freaking ahead of me. Not anymore, it seems her fire has extinguished. Everyone's kind of slowing down. A year has already burnt us out. And there's one more to go. Unexpected talents will pop up and catching up will soon kill us.
I'm going to do something about it. I need to.
Any suggestions are welcome!
YOU ARE READING
Asha's Book of Desparation
RandomMarked mature because I get really sad down the line. ~~ Worst ideas of 2021, Part #100039. Presented to you by Asha. Basically I can't keep a good habit, so why not let the internet know of it to hold myself accountable and feel guilty when I don't...
