Make Me Fantasize [ Noah x Cody ]

the emo and the geek

"Yo, Deftones is my shit-"
shuffling through his spotify playlists, Noah's finger landed on a familiar song that he's listened to for quiet a long time- since he was in late middle school, to be specific.
a fairly small speaker sat between Cody and Noah, vibrating slightly with the sound of the music.
the sound of guitar and drums blasted through the apartment, originating from Noah's bedroom, speaker sitting on the bed. a male's voice soothingly began singing through the speaker, Noah lightly nodding his head with the music's melancholy rhythm.
Cody watched him, admiring the way the other boy's longer hair swayed with the head movement. he was enjoying the music Noah chose, being curious as to what other kind of songs his boyfriend listened to.
"i think this kind of music kind of suits you, in a way. kinda reminds me of when you've told me about your emo phase," Cody said a little smugly, smiling directly towards Noah's direction.
a small rush of heat swarmed through the tanned boy's face.
suits me?
"I mean, you're not wrong about the emo phase thing, i used to jam out to this hard when i was going through that teen angst. This song specifically- it's called be quiet and drive away- has always been one of my favorites, younger me would cry the fuck out to this"
Flashbacks of middle school and high school ran across his mind, not having many good memories. but now, even though he had a somewhat rough patch in life during those times, all he could really do now is laugh at it.

Cody furrowed his eyebrows a bit, trying to picture Noah's younger emo self with earbuds that screamed songs into his ears. but crying? Cody can't imagine that.
why would noah ever cry?
he seemed like he didn't care enough about others or himself to feel that upset, really.

"is there a reason why you'd cry-? i mean, i don't know if it's just me but you don't really seem like the type to get emotional."
Noah, taken a little back by the question and comment, reddened a little more and grimaced a bit, remembering how he'd get relentlessly bullied for all those years- and to make matters worse, he had no friends during those times either, no one to confide to. all of that was some tom foolery to him; he believed there could never be anyone who would truly care as much as he could, why would anyone want to talk to the gay bookworm when everyone else was so busy trying to fuck each other and climb up the social latter.

somedays it would go a little too far.
being physically bullied was something Noah dreaded, much rather putting up with the verbal taunting than being touched at all by those peers. so when they began pushing him down the stairs or pulling at his unusually long hair, as they would put it since they found it ridiculous that a boy could have hair past his own jawline, he would end up feeling quiet defeated.
and so then the waterworks would start.

no one would see him cry, of course.
he could not let that happen.
instead, he'd put on his earbuds and ditch school for a while, long dark shaded eyes glossy and either his written on converse or boots making their way to a trusted hill just behind the school. making it up the grassy hill, tall thick trees provided shade and a little secret hideout for him. it was too easy to get out of school grounds when the security guards were on their phone most of the time, the gates always opened.
the grassy hill was sometimes used during gym class to run up and down multiple times to truly get a burn, but the school had decided to stop doing that, choosing to make the students run around the football field only, making the hill off limits due to kids getting caught smoking around the area.

and there, beneath and behind a tall tree stump, Noah would sit and let himself cry until whatever he was feeling washed away.

snapping back to the present, Noah blinked after having stared off into space for quiet some time, eyes darting towards Cody's.
"um-"

Cody shrunk down a little suddenly, feeling as though he's invading something too private-, "it's okay if you don't wanna answer, i get it. i don't like others seeing me cry either or anything, haha."
Noah bit his cheek, debating whether he should share his little pity party story or not out of embarrassment and fear of being ridiculed- but, hey, it's Cody.

"i used to get bullied back in my middle school and high school years. that's all, really."

Cody blinked hard a few times, processing the information he was just given, a little surprised by the sheer honesty and sudden response.
not sure if he should ask more about this, he fiddled with the blanket beneath them, "oh-...i'm sorry, Noah. they're all assholes for that. i wish i could have somehow stopped it from
happening. i know what it's like to get bullied..."
Noah's eyes met with Cody's, concern and interest now seeping in.
did Cody get bullied as bad as himself?
"...what did they do?"

Cody laughed a small, feeble laugh and tended up his shoulders, averting his eyes now from the other, "well...i guess i'd just get called a lot of names, sometimes get the typical wedgies and have some of the more popular guys steal my homework or throw water at me, stuff like that."
a frown spread across Noah's face, and anger bubbled in his chest.
why would someone even bully this boy? Cody truly does not do anything to get in other people's nerves or business on purpose, he truly is a good person.
"Do you know why they'd do that-?"
Cody shrunk into himself a little more, and with a sigh he shrugged, "i guess i'm just not as popular or something. they would get some kind of fun out of it...how about you...?"

Noah wanted to talk more about Cody's problems, but with that question shot at him and the fact that Cody had opened up to him, he supposed he should open up as well.
"well- i guess you could say it's about the same for me. aha- um, well except for the only reason being my popularity status- that, of course, was something that came along with the other reasons they had against me. lots of the students- where i was living...they didn't really have the same views as i did. they didn't like that i wasn't into the same things as the guys were. you know, boobs and shit like that. it was no secret that i was gay, and with the way i would dress i was only putting myself up for more taunting. guess you could say they were a group of a bunch of close minded people."

Cody frowned, scooting closer to Noah and pushing aside the little speaker, the song dying down and fading into the next one.
he laid his pale hand on top of Noah's own hand, "fuck them. that's actually such a shit reason to hurt somebody for. unlike me, you were bullied for something you truly couldn't change. i could always just try not to be so geeky, and no one nor did i knew i was into guys, but for sure they'd probably use it against me as well. i'm just glad you no longer have to deal with that, Noah. neither of us."

as if the universe was somehow playing a little game with Noah, he felt his heart strings being pulled, a burning sensation emerging from behind his eyes.
ah, shit.
why is he getting the urge to cry right now? fuck.

Cody noticed the slight twinkle in the other's eyes, the tears slowly pooling in his brown eyes.
"are you crying...?"

"..u-um-"
shit.
if he opened his mouth and tried to speak, he knew he'd only start sobbing.

Cody picked up on this, eyes softening at the rare sight.
"aw, Noah...", he murmured softly, leaning in slowly and reaching towards the other to envelope him in a warm embrace, fingers running into his hair and getting tangled in the dark brown locks.
Noah could only hug back, trying his hardest to avoid the emotions blooming throughout his body.
sadness? love? longing?

he never thought he'd be able to find someone so accepting.

growing up, he was told he'd never find someone who'd love him this way. his family members had the suspicion of him being gay, but they all seemed to kind of try to ignore it, as if it would change over time.
but it didn't.
no man wants to be with another man, the kids would tell him.

he'd deny being gay to everyone.
but they all just knew.

so, to have someone so heartwarming and loving as Cody was a miracle.
something that shouldn't happen according to all those other people.

but here he was, his favorite person holding him.

he wished Cody wouldn't leave him soon.

( A/N; AFTER A YEAR HAS PASSED, i finally update sand give y'all NOTHING)
1,535 words