Press. Release. Wait.

Getting Up and Getting Out

Get up.

No.

Get up!

No.

Get up, Cheyenne.

Dog pawed at me as I lay in bed. He had to go out but I didn't want to take him. It was bright out now. Past noon probably. I had ignored a few texts from Rob earlier but I could hear my phone buzzing again.

I hope he's not calling.

The phone continued to buzz.

He's calling.

I let it ring. I wasn't going to answer. I stared up at the ceiling above. It was a plain white ceiling. I couldn't make out all of the tiny imperfections from this distance. It just looked like an expanse of white that stretched the length of my vision.

The world is a blank piece of paper.

I remember going on a hike up a mountain a few years ago with Adam. I wasn't much of a hiker. I liked he outdoors but the walking part was never for me.

It was a foggy day. Very foggy. I was afraid that I was going to fall and get hurt because I could barely see three feet in front of me.

As we approached the peak of the mountain it seemed to get worse. Fog spilled into the open areas while the closed forests felt like a different world.

We didn't get lost. We were fine. We got up the mountain to the peak.

The peak was a wide flat surface. It felt a rocky expanse that would go on forever. I stepped through the rocks and tiny puddles of water that had gathered in the crevices, following the hazy shape of Adam as if he knew the way.

When I looked up I saw the white sky. Just white. It was surreal. Just seeing the world from the top. As a white nothing that stretched across the entire earth.

The world is a blank piece of paper.

Dog pawed at me again.

Get up.

FINE!

I sat up. My head pounded. I had slept for a long time. Much longer than I wanted to admit. I felt bad for Dog. He probably really had to go.

I threw on a jacket and a ripped pair of jeans then put the leash on Dog.

I'm sorry. I abandoned you.

The mid-winter sun was already beginning to lower in the sky. It would probably set in an hour or so. I wished it was summer again. Summer would be nice. A little more light. My feet would get a little less wet when I went outside.

We began to walk. I let Dog lead me most of the time. After a few weeks at the apartment he seemed to know his way perfectly around the city. He would bring me back every time. I let my mind wander as he walked amongst the sidewalk. The snow had stopped long ago. Plows had gone through and brought the snow into large piles on the sidewalk. Most of the apartments still had their christmas decorations up. I could even see a few christmas trees still standing if I peered inside some of the windows.

I looked up to the sky. The sun was beginning to sink beneath the buildings.

Already?

I couldn't remember the last time Dog had wanted to go this far. He wasn't much of a walker either. He was a bit lazy actually.

I started to recognize the scenery. It had been a while since I'd been here. Before the crash. I avoided it for a while. I kind of thought I was still avoiding it. I saw a restaurant that made me reel.

The last time I talked to Adam in person.

We walked past it and through the various business and office buildings surrounding the area. Finally we came across it.

It was brand new. They had been doing construction on it for almost a year after the crash. They revamped the trains and the the tunnels. Changing everything. Almost everything at least.

Dog pulled me towards it. We got up right next to it and he pulled more.

I looked down. The same deep underground. Darkness at the bottom.

"No."

Dog pulled again.

"No!"

I pulled back at Dog. He looked at me.

"We're not going down there."

I pulled at him, forcing him to go a different way.

"We're going back. We're going back right now."

The streets were empty. I had barely noticed that it was a weekend. Almost no cars passed by me as I spedwalk angrily through the sidewalk.

Dog sat down.

I pulled at him. He slid along the sidewalk. It probably hurt.

I stopped.

"DOG!"

Dog looked at me.

"God fucking shit. Fucking fuck. We are not taking the train!"

Dog stared back at me.

I picked him up and began to walk away. Dog began to kick and bark at me. He struggled in my arms. I held him tightly. After a few seconds of struggling he nipped at my arm.

"Ow! What the fuck Dog?"

I dropped him. He went tumbling down to the ground then immediately got back in the sitting position. He stared at me.

"I'm not ready."

Dog stared at me.

"Do you hear me? I AM NOT READY. I DON'T WANT TO GO."

Dog got up and began to walk in the direction of the station. I didn't budge. I continued to walk in place as the leash tightened at his neck.

I took a step. He moved with me. I took another step. He moved again. We continued on until we were, once again, at the mouth of the station.

I looked down to the darkness at the bottom of the escalator. Dog moved down a few steps then stared at me. The escalator kept going, tightening the leash. It was getting tighter and tighter as Dog stayed exactly where he was. The escalator continued down.

I took a step.

The escalator did the rest.