Everything We Never Had

fourteen

 I spent the duration of four and a half hours at Ashton's house afterward. For at least half that time, the adults never emerged from the dining room. 

Ashton and I sat on that same chair, literally just talking about nothing. We talked about restaurants, flavors of ice cream. Not once did Samantha come up. For that, I was grateful. 

It was, out and out, the best two hours of my life. 

But, one thing I forgot to mention. One hand didn't leave my waist all night. The other hand was used to make soft, light circles around my thigh. 

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I came home that night to a very angry mom.

The thing we call 'texting your mom so she knows where you are' had completely slipped my mind.

I walk into the front door and get drilled.

"Valerie Michelle Long! I thought you were kidnapped! I just about called the fucking police!" she yells.

"Sorry, Mom. I forgot to text you."

"Clearly! Where were you?"

Where was I? Ashton's house. But that isn't an acceptable response.

"I went over to Danna's." That lie is second nature. It doesn't even feel like a lie anymore.

"Bull. I called Danna's mom because I figured you would be over there. She said you haven't been over in months!"

How did my mom have Danna's mom's number? Oh hell, she probably found it on Whitepages or something.

"Okay well, Danna's mom is basically never there when I'm over! Maybe Danna just doesn't tell her mom that she has me over."

My mom actually seems to buy this, which is surprising. "Barb never was a particularly bright person," my mom mutters.

I choke on my spit. Not my mom hating on Danna's mom!

"I'm gonna uh, go upstairs? If that's fine?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I yelled at you. It's just a panic when you can't find your child anywhere, no?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry about not texting you. Won't happen again." And I vowed to make that true.

My bedroom has always been my favorite place. When I was thirteen, my mom and I went to the store and I got to buy whatever I wanted to customize it.

Good thing I had good taste back then and don't want to change it now because the amount of money we spent on room decor that day was astronomical.

I sit on my bed and pull out my phone. I have no missed texts, no missed calls. I did get a new TikTok follower, though. Woohoo.

I decide to text Ashton. Why? I don't know. Maybe it was just the rush I get when I see he's replied to my text.

"Tonight was fun. Thanks for inviting me."

It wasn't really that fun. Just the Ashton and I alone in a room for two hours and talking part.

"Yeah."

I feel underwhelmed by that response. Did Ashton not enjoy it? He was the one touching me all night. I wasn't the one touching him.

I sigh and throw my phone to the end of the bed. It almost falls off.

Sleep does not come easily that night.

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Saturday night I awake with a headache and a text from an unknown number.

"Hey! It's your Aunt Kyleena. I'm in town today for a work trip and was wondering if you would want to go out to eat?"