UNPLANNED

Part 15

The morning was quiet, sun seeped through the big window that overlooked your old neighborhood. Harry was slumped in a chair, hood pulled over his face when you pushed yourself upright in the bed. Everything hurt.

A nurse at the door smiled, offering a wave when she rolled in the hospital bassinet. "Just woke up," she said. "I think she's hungry."

You watched when she leaned in and picked her up, passing her over to you gently before letting her hand rest on the side of your bed. "Have you met with the lactation consultant yet?" Her voice was quiet, an unspoken pact between the two of you to not wake the sleeping celebrity on the other side of the room.

"Yeah," you nodded, "she came by last night. Or afternoon, I don't know."

It was all a blur, Jane came and there were tears and the two of you just sat there for a while, passing her back and forth and watching as she blinked and wriggled in your arms. People filed in and out: your mom, Lexi, Glenne and Jeff, they took turns leaning over her in the bassinet, watching as she slept. Nightfall came and sleep was calling, her cries throughout the dark hours were answered by both of you, rubbing your eyes when a nurse handed her over.

Now you looked down at Jane, her eyes were open, timid but curious when she looked over your face. "Hi honey," you said, reaching down to let your fingers feel the wispy hair on her head. "We can try again."

The nurse watched when you tugged the shoulder of the gown down, exposed your chest and positioned Jane to get a good angle. It took her a second, but she was quicker this time, you grimaced when she connected.

Harry stirred from the side of the room, cleared his throat when he sat up in the chair. The nurse took that as her cue to leave, a sweet smile when she slipped out the door, I'll be back to check on you in a bit.

"Hi," you said, your eyes glanced up to him quickly, back down at Jane when she pulled away from your chest.

"Hi," he said, the events from the day before suddenly lay on the sterile floor between you, heavy and lethargic when he stood and tried to stretch out the soreness.

"I told you that you didn't have to stay," you said, feeling bad for the way he squeezed his eyes shut when he rubbed at his neck, body likely aching from the inconvenient sleeping arrangement. They'd offered a cot, he declined.

"No, no," he shook his head and took a few steps closer to you. "M'fine, I wouldn't have left, obviously."

You were quiet for a second, he looked down at her, then brought his eyes back up as if he didn't know if he was allowed to watch the intimate moment. Suddenly, he looked unsure about a lot. You weren't clear what it meant when he kissed you. You didn't know what it meant when you cried in his arms from the pure emotion and exhaustion, and you definitely didn't know what to make of the way he looked at you now.

"How's it going?"

"You mean breastfeeding?"

He nodded, crossed his arms over his chest and looked around the room awkwardly.

"It's okay," you laughed a little, the tension broke like fog over the beach when you raised your eyebrows. "I'm exhausted and my body feels like it got hit by a truck."

"Yeah? Do you need to go back to bed? Do you want to tell my mom and sister that they should just head to their hotel when they land?"

"No," you shook your head. "It's fine. They can come."

He watched you for a second, almost like he didn't believe you or expected you to change your mind. When you didn't, he let out a breath and came to sit on the edge of the bed. You turned a bit, tried to offer him a better view without making your nipples feel like they were on fire.