The pain of Turnabouts ~ An Ace Attorney Fanfiction

Chapter 5. Cooperating

Miles sat composed, with a cautious and slightly awkward delicacy.
-You've done it before ... tell me what to do- he asked him, putting his hands on the desk, fingers spread.

Phoenix looked at him and sighed
-Okay, look, fill in the sheet with our personal information, mine and yours, you should know- he handed him the relative sheet, secretly admiring his posture.

Miles took the paper, catching her gaze. -Why Phoenix? Why isn't anyone waiting for you? - He asked him, with a tone more apprehensive than he wanted to let out.

He paused for a moment with the pencil on top of the paper. Did he have to tell him the truth? Obvious. But he didn't feel like it. He opted for a bit of truth.
-My mother works and comes back late. I'll take care of the things of the house.-

Miles nodded, taking the paper.
-Mr. Von Karma on the other hand does not have a wife-he has been a widower for years- and he comes back when he likes, busy with business meetings or other ... he does as he wants, and we don't complain- he said.
-And your father?-

Phoenix froze again. It was even more evident this time as he lost herself in unpleasant memories accompanied by a slight disdainful grimace.
-Ehm, like yours. He doesn't show up often for now- he cut it short, keeping his head down on the paper
-Please don't call Mr. "Von Karma" my father ...- he swallowed. -I am grateful to him for taking care of me. I didn't have anyone, you know. But I don't ... feel like ... to call him father. I would ask you to avoid it.-
-Oh? - he looked at him -Well, yeah okay. Thanks for telling me then.- he nodded, not at all surprised
-I don't want to say he's ungrateful ... I absolutely don't want to ... please don't think so. It's just ... - his words failed him.
- It's just not your dad. I know it. I understand you better than you think- he nodded slowly, without stopping to fill out the paperwork.
I don't understand why I miss words with you, Miles thought, feeling a kind of lump in his throat.
-You shouldn't be like that, Wright ... you ... you seem so willing to feed yourself to the next ... you look like an open wound. But in wounds others like to turn knives, remember-
Phoenix smiled slightly.
If you only knew, he thought to himself.
-Thank you for your concern, Miles. But I know of no way to be different from how I am. If I'm okay with you I'll be happy to enjoy your company- and he looked at him intently, letting his weird feelings for him leak right up to her gaze.
That look left him baffled, because he did not fully understand the implications.
He held his breath without meaning to.
And then he turned his attention back to the paper.
-Were you born in December? -He asked him.

He blushed slightly and went back to work
-Yes, sure- he nodded

-I remember it.- he said. -We were supposed to celebrate a few days after Christmas. - he said sadly.
He looked at him
- True. Mh ... but, birthdays aren't that important. And then there are many birthdays ahead of us- he said trying to console him.
He was silent for a while. Then he asked him: -Why did you keep writing all those letters to me, Wright? -

Phoenix tensed and tried not to be troubled by the question.
-Ah, then you received them. Good. - he nodded satisfied.

He looked up at him.
- I got them all. I'm not going to tell you I couldn't answer, because that's not quite true. My stepfather didn't like it. But I would have found a way. I just ... I didn't know what to tell you. You had all those things to tell ... I ... I had nothing to say .- he shrugged, as if it were enough to justify it.
-Are you serious? I do not know. You could have let me know you were ... ALIVE. How was the little dog. What did he do- he let the silence hover between them for a few seconds
-How were you ....- he whispered
"The little dog is dead," he said coldly. "And maybe I died with him. As long as he was with me there was still a small part of my life from before that lived. A part of you, of my father. There is nothing left, afterwards."
-He poisoned it. My stepfather. He had put the rat poison out of the house. But the dog paid no attention. I don't know if he did it on purpose- he confessed. And then he shrugged, as if it didn't matter. As if he hadn't cried for weeks. As if he hadn't fasted for days. As if he hadn't written a thousand letters - never sent - in which he begged him to come and get him and take him away, somehow, any way.

Phoenix looked up, his eyes wide and furious.
-He .... has .... but ... why didn't you write to me? I would have taken you away from there! ....- then he bit his lip. Actually, perhaps it was better that he hadn't written to him. She would take him to another abyss of pain.
-... or rather ... I would have helped you- he returned to d lower his head
Miles shrugged again.
-It was just a dog- he said. Because suddenly the prospect of Phoenix believing him cold, even hating him, seemed better to him than exposing himself to him like an exposed electrical outlet.

He looked at him puzzled
-How can you tell! No, he wasn't just a dog. He was our dog!- he muttered.

He bit his lip until it almost bleed, then jumped to his feet like a trigger. He said he had to go to the bathroom, he promised to be back right away. He ran away, because he didn't want the other to see his eyes glistening with tears

He stared at the chair where Miles had been before. This meeting was nothing at all like he had imagined it.