Permanent

chapter nine

They went upstairs for dinner which Steve had made. Most of the other Avengers were already at the table, ready to eat.

It would've been nice if Peter didn't notice the glances Tony kept sending toward both him and Natasha. He was acting a bit off, but Peter couldn't figure out why.

As much as it bugged him though, he tried to ignore it. If he was supposed to know Tony would tell him.

Though with how much Tony kept glancing at him, he had the feeling he should know.

Dinner went by quickly and soon Peter and Tony were headed back down to the lab. Tony seemed almost nervous but Peter thought it best not to ask.

He planned to just leave it alone, grab his computer, and leave before Tony stopped him.

"Look, when Nat was down here earlier we... well..." he trailed off as if thinking of what to say. "Listen, Peter, there are just a few things we need to talk about before you go."

With that seemingly simple sentence, Peter froze and felt his heart stop. No one had called him Peter since he'd left his old home in Michigan.

He knew. Tony knew! What would this mean for him? Tony could turn him in. What would happen then? Was Tony mad at him? He must've been; he'd been lying to him for almost a month.

Peter stood up and started backing towards the elevator. "What?" he asked, fear written all over his face.

Tony must've realized what he said, but it was too late. "Wait, I just want to talk to you about it. I'm not mad or anything, I just don't get it."

Peter could hear Tony speaking, but didn't process any of it. It felt too hot in here. When the elevator opened, he didn't hesitate to get in and tell FRIDAY to close the doors.

Tony seemed to call out something else to him but it sounded muffled. He could feel his hands shaking as he rushed out of the building.

He ran for a couple blocks, but stopped in a random alley and sat down.

No, no, no; this couldn't be happening. What would Tony do? If anyone else found out, he could go to jail. He couldn't survive in jail.

His heart was racing and his breathing was unsteady. The running probably didn't help. His hands shook and he was sweating and he didn't know what to do. He recognized he was having a panic attack, but this time, he had no one to help him.

Would he have to go to jail? He'd surely broken enough laws to go to jail. Hell, he'd committed multiple felonies creating his new identity. And even on the off chance, he didn't go to jail, what would happen?

He'd go to an orphanage. He shuddered at the thought of going to another one.

Ned and MJ probably wouldn't talk to him anymore. No one would. Would he even be allowed to go back to that school? What if they sent him back to Michigan instead? No matter what, there was no good outcome to this and Peter knew it.

Peter wasn't sure how long it had been once he'd calmed down and stood up, and he didn't care much either.

He tried to keep his mind occupied on the ride back to Queens with setting up his new phone. He hesitated when it asked for an email address, but he ended up putting his Peter Parker one. Why would it matter anyway, when Tony knew his real identity?

When he got back to his building, he just sat there for a while thinking. He had no idea what to do. Maybe he'd overreacted by running out. Maybe Tony wouldn't tell anyone and just wanted to help him.

Then again, maybe it would get out and he could say without exaggeration that his whole life would be ruined.

He went out on patrol that night, but didn't really do anything. It was more to blow off steam than anything. There'd been a mugger or two he'd stopped, but that was about it. He couldn't really focus on much else anyway.