Spawn of Azkaban

Chapter Eleven

Song for the chapter: Chasing Cars—Snow Patrol

For the next few days, Bianca can't bring herself to get out of bed. There are so many different things going through her mind that she can't sort out. It's exhausting, trying to convince herself that her mother was wrong. Her whole life she has fought to break away from the family pattern and her whole life she's had a nagging feeling that she was destined to be like them.

A few times a day Bianca crawls out of bed to use the restroom, and Juniper brings her water and little snacks throughout the day. Juniper's been trying to get the girl to leave, but Bianca physically can't.

"Hey Bianca," Juniper says gently when she enters the room after class. She's carrying a water bottle, a bag of crisps, and an apple. "I brought you some more food, but it doesn't look like you ate the last thing I brought."

"Sorry I haven't been hungry. Thank you though," Bianca tells her friend with a forced smile.

"So do you think you'll try going to class tomorrow?" Juniper asks hesitantly. She's scared to set Bianca off which makes Bianca feel bad.

"I don't know," Bianca groans burying her face in her pillow.

"I thought you might say that," Juniper admits. Her footsteps retreat and Bianca takes it as a sign that she gave up for the day. The door opens and Bianca looks up to see Juniper letting Fred, George, and Lee into the dorm. "I brought reinforcements."

"Long time no see eh?" Fred asks as the twins come to join Bianca on her bed. Juniper follows hesitantly.

"Yeah," Bianca trails off not sure how to respond to that.

"Do you wanna talk to us about why you've been holed up in your room?" George asks. He's sitting the closest to Bianca with Fred then Lee behind him and Juniper standing at the foot of the bed. George is looking right into the girl's eyes. She feels her facade begin to crumble as tears pool up in her dark eyes.

"It's therapy, I thought it was helping but I just feel so much worse," Bianca sobs. The tears stream down her face as her body shakes with sobs. She tries to cover her eyes with her hands but George pulls the girl into his arms. It reminds her of the day at the lake and she can't help but feel stupid. Why is George always the one to find her at her worst?

"It's okay Bianca you can let it out," he hushes. He whispers to the others, "You guys head out, I've got this." He rubs Bianca's back slowly, willing her to calm down. She can feel his rough fingers tracing patterns through the thin material of her shirt. She's not sure how much time passes, but George's gentle hands and occasional whispers eventually get her to stop sobbing.

"Thanks, Georgie," she says, a slight smile making its way onto her lips. "How'd you even get up here?"

"I guess if you're being escorted up the stairs by a female, the magic rules don't apply," George shrugs. "But don't go trying to change the subject on me. What's going on Bianca?"

The girl sighs, sitting back against the wall so she can explain everything to him. She pats the bed beside her and George comes to sit next to her, leaning against the wall as well. She lays her head on his shoulder. "Do you remember the other day when we were playing Quidditch?"

"Yeah, I had a great time," he says sounding confused on why this has to do with anything.

"I did too," she reminisces. "That day I felt like everything was going okay and I was finally feeling content with life. Then a few days ago at therapy, I decided to try hypnotherapy, to uncover my memories and help me heal from the past. But what I saw, it set me back years." She explains everything that happened at therapy, she doesn't cry this time, most likely because she had run out of tears. "I haven't even admitted it to myself yet, but George I have a sister. A twin actually. And she's everything I try to be. My mum said it herself, she's kind and gentle. I've been evil since I was a baby and I just don't think I can change."

"Bianca, look at me," George demands sitting up so she can see him. He grabs her hands in his as she stares into his light brown eyes. The way the small light from the lamps reflect off of his eyes, they look like pools of honey. She forces herself to listen to the words the boys are speaking and not get lost in his eyes. "You are nothing like how your mum described you. I've known you since you were twelve and I've never once feared that you were going to be evil. You've always stuck up for the underdog, always done what's right, and you despise your mother. I know for a fact that you will never end up like her."

"But George, the things I did when I was just a baby, imagine what I could do now if I got upset," she counters looking down at their intertwined hands. George's hands were much larger than hers, nearly swallowing her hands in his.

"You were a baby, you couldn't control your magic. You should've seen the house when Fred and I were babies, we nearly burnt down the living room once. I just want you to think about all the times you've felt strong emotions, like sadness, anxiety, anger. Have you ever hurt anyone or anything during those times?"

Bianca thinks back as far as she can, trying to find an instance where she had hurt someone when she was feeling strong emotions. "Well no but-"

"No buts Bianca. Don't try to make yourself out to be the bad guy. Do you wanna know what I think?" Bianca nods for him to continue. "I think you're scared of growth. You don't want to see yourself become the strong, kind, brilliant girl that you're becoming. Because with that growth comes the difficult emotions you've been feeling lately."

She can't bring herself to look George in the eyes. Somehow, this boy just went into her mind and put all of the emotions she'd been feeling into words. She's never had someone understand her on this level before, besides Juniper. Somehow, it felt different though. Juniper understood her because she experienced so many things similar to her, but George just got it. It brought Bianca comfort knowing that someone so drastically different from her was able to understand her broken mind.

"Did I nail it on the head?" George laughs slightly.

"Yeah pretty much," Bianca smiles with a mixture of sadness and joy. She pulls George in for a hug. "Thank you so much for that George, you always know exactly what to say."

***

After George and Bianca talked, they went down to the common room and explained everything to the others. There were lots of tears and hugs. Bianca's friends felt bad but she assured them there was nothing they could've done. She just has a lot of things to work through. After that, she sent an owl to her therapist apologizing and asking her if they could continue the hypnotherapy next week. The only way to heal is to work through it and she was slowly accepting that.

Finally, to end the night Bianca went to talk to Cedric. She kind of left him hanging after their last therapy session and hasn't seen or spoken to him since. She explains everything to him, deciding not to hold back. He was completely honest with her, so she owed him that much. She apologized for not being there for him after the last session. He assures her it's okay as long as she promises to talk to him or someone next time.

By the time Bianca went to bed that night, she felt a little ridiculous. If she simply would've talked to someone, things could've gone so much smoother. Of course, she had to overreact at the first sign of struggle though. As she's getting ready for bed she thought of something she had to repair. She grabs the crumpled-up journal pages from her dresser and the rest of the journal. She lays them side by side on her bed and mutters 'reparo.' The pages bind themselves back into the book.

She slept well that night, exhausted by emotions. The rest of the week is quite brutal. She had to catch up in all of her classes while simultaneously doing the homework assigned. It results in a lot of late nights in the library. Harry and Hermione have also been spending a lot of time in the library, so the three of them have been talking a lot. She even helps them with their potions homework a few times. Hermione doesn't really need the help, but she's too polite to say anything. Harry's been stressed about the tournament. He wants to prepare for the first task but doesn't know how since he has no idea what it is. Bianca tries to teach him some universal protection charms and offensive spells that he hasn't learned yet, but she also have a lot of my own stuff to do.