ᴀʟʟ ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇ - regulus black

chapter 14

After that strange moment, Octavia went straight up to her room when she arrived back. She didn't even acknowledge Lilah as she just went to sit on her bed.

"Octavia?"

The girl looked up at her friend.

"What were you doing- there's lipstick everywhere on your mouth," told her Lilah.

With the back of her hand she rubbed her lips trying to remove the lipstick.

"A kiss..."

"It's a kiss that shook you like this? I didn't know Max was such a good kisser," she chuckled.

Max. She had forgotten Max. Her mind was completely messed up with thoughts about Regulus Black. Regulus Black and his kiss. Kiss that she enjoyed. What had she done? She had a boyfriend for Merlin's sake!

"I did something terrible Lilah."

"What?" asked the girl, coming to her side, looking worried.

"I can't tell you. I should forget about this and you too," she answered, looking at her friend. Her face displayed complete confusion.

"Hm... okay?" Lilah was just as confused but she didn't try to know more.

The next day, Octavia didn't talk. The others just assumed she was in a bad mood. She had that kiss replayed in her head every minute of every hour and each time her heart would go wild.

She tried to ignore Regulus staring at her but it turned out to be very difficult. Octavia wanted to watch him looking at her, to just share a glance with him. But she had to ignore him. Any interaction with him would be noxious for her relationship with Max. And speaking of him, she really couldn't ignore him even if she wanted to as well.

The redhead boy greeted her with a kiss, like usual, but it felt strange, not appreciable, or at least not as appreciable as it used to be. He was completely oblivious and didn't catch her weird behavior.

She could give up, forget, and ignore Regulus but he wouldn't leave her thoughts. Even for the next days she was always thinking about him. The two wouldn't talk but they shared multiple glances. Octavia didn't know what to feel, irritated or excited. Or both. She was mad at him and mad at herself.

"You've been really weird recently," said Zephyr one day.

"That's not true..." muttered Octavia, trying to look convincing.

As they were conversing, Octavia looked up and her eyes fell on Regulus who was speaking with his roommates not too far. He felt her eyes on him and looked up as well. And when their eyes met, a shiver ran down her spine.

"I'm going for a walk."

Octavia stood up and went out. The October weather was a bit chilly but it felt refreshing. She cleared her mind and looked at the landscape, a scenery that she loved.

"Are you okay?" said a voice from behind her, a voice she knew, it was Regulus' soft voice. She wasn't even surprised to see him there.

"I don't know. I was thinking."

The boy hummed at her words. He had been thinking too, and it was probably about the same thing. That kiss they shared, that unexpected kiss that brought weird tingly feelings in them.

"It won't happen again, right? Let's forget..." she suddenly said, her voice sounding almost regretful.

"You want to forget?" Again, shivers ran down her spine but this time due to the effect his velvet-like voice had on her.

Octavia turned around to face the boy. It seemed like everything had changed since the last time. He wasn't looking at her the same way anymore. It was just a stupid kiss but why were they feeling so different.

"Don't ask me that... and don't look at me like that..." she whispered, her blue irises not leaving his.

"There's nothing wrong with the way I look at you," he replied nonchalantly.

"It's the same look as last time Regulus, you will kiss me again?"

His lips parted and his eyebrows rose up in shock. She thought he was going to do it again, before he could even think of it. And before Regulus could say anything, Octavia placed her hand on his lips, preventing him from saying anything. Or doing anything.

"Don't kiss me again Regulus. Don't, please..." she pled, but her eyes were saying the opposite.

The girl's hand slide to his cheek as she thought he wanted to say something.

"Octavia," Regulus breathed out.

She shook her head, trying to dissuade him.

"Don't do it... don't... do it..." she tried, still hoping he would.

The girl didn't want to kiss him, she wanted him to be the one to kiss her. Seeing she wanted it as much as him, he didn't wait more and offered her a sweet kiss. Octavia replied to his kiss. And again she loved it. She put in more effort than last time and melt onto his lips. She was holding the boy's face so gently, almost apprehensively, it made his legs go weak. Every cell of her body vibrated through the kiss, it was like getting awaken, even alight, with fire. Her other hand still hanging by her side had started shaking. It went to grab his unconsciously. It was shaking with excitement too. Their fingers played together, shyly, softly, barely brushing onto each other before finally intertwining tightly. She was feeling the softness of his lips and the heat of his body too clearly, her brain kept screaming the same thing. She should stop. She had to stop. She finally stopped.

Octavia detached herself, and stared at Regulus with surprise in her eyes. The boy's eyes reflected the exact same emotion. She placed one hand over her mouth, where it still felt tingly, and one hand over her heart which was beating so strongly she thought it would jump off her chest.

Time felt suspended in the air, as if a thousand years had passed by between the moment she put an end to the kiss and the moment she decided to leave the dumbfounded boy.

Once the feelings of excitement and warmth in her chest waved off, guilt took over her. They had kissed, again. She was supposed to hate him. Not even supposed, she hated him. He was everything she loathed. A pureblood supremacist, stuck to his families' views, being his mother's puppet and aspiring to be a Death Eater on top of that. She shouldn't be feeling so attracted to him. This had to stop, it was a mistake. Both kisses were a mistake. She would never talk to Regulus Black again. At least not until the day she will be forced to marry him. If she even managed to live until then because life seemed like it would only get more complicated. She hated growing up, she wished she could be a child again, with no responsibilities, completely unaware of the reality, oblivious to what world they were living in.

Back to her friends, Octavia appeared to be herself. She ignored her troubled feelings regarding Regulus and barely glanced at him when he came back in the common room, no matter if his eyes longed on her the whole time. She focused on her friends, forgot about him, and got filled with joy so easily in their company. Zephyr, Lilah as well as Jaden happened to be so good at making her forget her worries, whether they were aware of it or not. Being different, almost odd for their community, it brought them close. They were always there to support each other. She enjoyed their presence as much as she could before finding herself alone with her thoughts later that night. Thoughts of guilt mostly, towards Max - which she hadn't faced yet, out of cowardice and fear - and towards her friends who still didn't know anything about the arranged marriage. Still after so long.

author's note : i just noticed some incoherences in the story and i'm sorry, i guess i didn't take enough time editing, so i'm currently trying to fix my mistakes!