ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

THE PERFECT MOMENT

I was happy about what Oli had said about being around more, it made me feel like I could see my friends and maybe have a social life again, but as I laid there on the couch contemplating it more, I started thinking about how it could affect my life with Ivy. The negative thoughts started creeping in and I started worrying and jumping to so many conclusions and worst-case scenarios that I was getting overwhelmed. Oli's question about being around more permanently was turning from happiness to a kind of dread. 

I started thinking about him being in town and wanting to take Ivy away from me. What if he wanted to take her for a weekend or an entire week, like some kind of split-custody situation? What if he actually wanted to be with her permanently and file for sole custody of her or something. I felt sick at the thought of being away from her, even just for a day. I wouldn't be able to sleep knowing she wasn't with me, safe, there in case of an emergency. I couldn't let him take her from me, I wouldn't.

Within twenty minutes of Oli's question about being in San Francisco more, I had convinced myself of the worst, so I went to my room silently, closed the door behind me, lifted Ivy from her cot and held her against me tightly. I just sat on my bed with her, fearful of losing her for even just a moment and I couldn't stop the tears from coming. The thought of having Ivy taken away from me sent panic into my mind, fear into my bones and pain into my heart. I had somehow let my mind run so wild that I had worked myself into a complete panic attack and I couldn't get myself out of it. I was terrified.

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[OLI]

I wonder why she went to see Ivy?

She's been gone a while, I better check everything's OK...

Wait, is she crying?!

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"Willow? Are you alright?" I heard Oli ask through the door. God, did he know I was upset? How would he know? Surely he couldn't hear me, I was crying so quietly.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I replied, trying to mask how nasal I sounded from the tears.
"Are you sure?" he asked. I wasn't. I was a mess. "Willow, I'm coming in." he said.
"No!" I said loudly, causing Ivy to whine in my arms. Oli peered around the door cautiously and his expression was one of shock and fear as he saw me sitting there holding Ivy protectively, with tears rolling down my cheeks.

Oli moved so fast toward me and I didn't mean to, but I flinched as he went to touch me. I just, I was scared of the power he had and the money he could throw into taking Ivy from me. He could ruin me, he could overpower me. I had nothing, I couldn't fight him if it came to it. "Willow..." he said with confusion as he stood back and looked at me with this sad, fearful expression. He must have felt so shit that I'd reacted to him that way and he must have wondered what the fuck was going on.

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[OLI]

She flinched.

She flinched when I tried to touch her. 

What happened? I don't understand. Everything was fine a minute ago... Did I do something, did I say something?

Fuck, what have I done?

"Willow, what's wrong?" I asked. She just shook her head as she buried her face into Ivy, who also seemed to be distressed. I was so confused but also really concerned. Why was she so upset? Why was she holding onto Ivy like her life depended on it.
"What happened? Have I done something?" I asked. She just cried and it broke my heart. I felt like I couldn't even fucking help her because she wouldn't talk to me. I wished she would trust me and tell me what was happening.