Remember Me

Chapter 59

Jimin
______________________

Three months... both the longer and shortest three months ever had passed since the events at my parents' house.
I had talked to my mother a couple of times since because she was freaking out about the whole thing. She apologized a hundred times and begged me to go home to see her and my father. Once I had just gathered that two of them were doing fine, I politely refused to go visit them.

I didn't want to talk to them. I didn't want to look at them. It was too early, and I still had a lot of anger and resentment built up from that day.

But things had more or less... settled back to how they were before. Before the memory loss accident, I mean. I didn't think it right to reach out to Zara first, and she hadn't reached out either. We weren't talking. I would look out for her on social media, and sometimes I would draft a message or two to send, but I'd chicken out last minute. Who knew whether she was resentful, or found me loathsome? So yes, it was all the usual.

I went to work all day and every day, now with a renewed vigor and desire to distract myself. I wanted to improve, and every time I felt myself slipping, I'd just think of what the guy I was five years ago would say to me.
Or I'd hear Zara's disapproving sigh, which I... I missed terribly.

Zara seemed to be doing better. She diplomatically responded to the whole dating rumors and subsequently was back in the public eye. But this time, people had a far more positive opinion of her. She started joining more press conferences for Sando Corp. These days I would keep the stock market channel on on TV every morning, because she would occasionally feature in a segment or two for interviews about her opinions on business or the economy.

Her nerves seemed better with each interview, and she always had a smile to offer. I had all but stopped going to the club or parties, but I had heard that she was going to more parties. Through Yesoo, she made more friends and reconnected with other high school friends. Heck, she even went to Jin's parties with Hobi sometimes.

I couldn't even think of approaching her and potentially ruining it.

One night, I was chilling in my apartment with Taehyung as we tried writing a song, when Tae suddenly crumpled up the paper he was working lyrics on.
"Man, this sucks."
"What does?"
"The stagnancy. The weird energy. The ennui. The resignation."

I tapped the kitchen counter with my pen, "Nice, you should write those down as lyric ideas."

"Be serious, Jimin. I'm talking about you."
I looked up at him with a raised brow, "Do I seem weird to you right now? Because I feel normal."

"You feel sad. What the heck are the lyrics you're writing? We have like seven sad songs already. We don't need seven more." Tae huffed in frustration, and I laughed aloud.

"Okay, fine, I'll try to write something a bit more happy."
"That's not—" he sighed and put a hand to the bridge of his nose. "That's not what I meant and you know it."

I furrowed my brows, "No? What do you mean?"

"Have you reached out to Zara?"

My smile dissolved and I blinked a couple of times. "Um... no. I wasn't intending to though."
"After that big of a fight, you should say something. Especially if you're going to be so forlorn about it all."

I slowly shrugged, "The fight wasn't exactly between me and her. And I'm not forlorn. I'm already on my way to moving on."

"Moving on my foot. Can't you just... at least talk to her?"
"I mean. We're still friends. If I saw her I'd talk to her. I don't see why I need to insert myself into her life."