𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙵𝙰𝙲𝙴 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂𝚄𝚁𝙴

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𝙄𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙞𝙩 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙞𝙣𝙖𝙡𝙨 𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙅𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙜𝙜𝙪𝙠 𝙞𝙨 𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛. 𝙏𝙖𝙚𝙝𝙮𝙪𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙨𝙨 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙚𝙭𝙝𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙙𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙚𝙭𝙖𝙢𝙨.

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- 𝗵𝘂𝗿𝘁/𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁 
- 𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳
- 𝘀𝗹𝗶𝗶𝗶𝗶𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁 (𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗿𝗼𝘀𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲)
- 𝗯𝗮𝗯𝘆 𝗯𝗼𝗶 𝗴𝗴𝘂𝗸 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗵𝗲'𝘀 𝘀𝘂𝗽𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝗹𝗲𝗲𝗽-𝗱𝗲𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁-𝗼𝗳-𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗲𝘅𝗮𝗺𝘀 𝘀𝗼 𝗶𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗹𝘆
- 𝗰𝘄 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗶𝗰𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝗶𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗵𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 
- 𝗰𝘄::𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗺 

HELLO IM BACK I MISSED EVERYONE SO MUCH IM SORRY LIFE HAS THROWN A LOT OF SHIT AT ME BUT HFKDJD hopefully i'll be a little more consistent on the updates bc this hellsite is my therapy </333

ANYway i've got an exam tomorrow but im gonna sit here hyperfixating on this because my block has been lifted after 9 months (thats what she said). written in lowercase like i always do when im writing to vent. WHATEVER its about finals season and the suffering it causes so here's a few pages of painful relatability. by the way if you got the encanto reference in the title ily <3

⋘ ──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ──── ⋙

honest to god, he's tried it all. ranging from trying and failing miserably at creating healthy routines, to an unhealthy amount of caffeine to keep up with his complete lack of sleep. he's used lofi music, he's used heavy metal. he's tried romanticizing student life, and finding the silver lining in the pain of it all. he's tried all the tricks in the book, and yet.

and yet its 3:02 in the morning, and jeongguk is staring down at his chemistry binder with a blurred vision. a tear hanging on the edge of his nose drips down and creates yet another splotch on a model of nuclear fission vs nuclear fusion. 

he can't cram any more, he really, really can't, not when he's physically incapable of understanding any of what he's reading.

not when it's the fourth night in a row that he's sneaked out of bed, out of the room he shares with the love and the light of his life, to overwork himself some more.

not when all he wants to do is crawl back to their room, curl into said love-of-his-life's chest and cry his heart out. there's nothing more he wants right now, than to feel his boyfriend's strong arms wrap around him tightly, the way he likes it, to hear his softly crooned words of comfort, to smell the familiar fabric softener he always uses as jeongguk sobs into his shirt.

okay, but maybe there is something he wants more than that. 

which is to go back in time and slaughter each and every one of the jobless failures of scientists who experimented on shit and failed. and for some reason, jeongguk is having to read about their failures, and it's not fair because whenever he got anything less than a perfect score, his parents would look at him with that wordless disappointment in their eyes. it's not fair because fifty fucking generations get to read about mendeleev's failures at the periodic table like it's something great, while jeongguk's parents would hold one 70% grade against him for the next three years. it's not fair because the only thing that made jeongguk's parents ever care about him, were his grades. he's liked to paint since he was a child, he's loved music passionately, but nothing save his exams would make his parents give a shit.

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⏰ Last updated: Dec 15, 2022 ⏰

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