𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎

Chapter 30

Nikki's POV

Why she had to act like my mother? Does she know what she's done? She woke up the beast and it can't get back to sleep before it gets its victim. Yeah, victim. Stacey's about to die. But how? I wanted her to die without feeling pain, but since her sister had to do this to me... Her sister's gonna pay for her mistakes. Sometimes, I wonder what Moira has done to me? I can't kill HER. I would have killed her by know, but... I CAN'T... AND IT'S DRIVING ME INSANE. WHY? IF I KILL HER EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE BETTER. TOMMY'S GONNA BE LIVING HIS LIFE WITH STACEY. BUT NOOOOO... MISS MOIRA ADAMS, YOU SHOULD BE GLAD I DON'T WANNA KILL YOU. Damn, I don't want to do drugs again. But maybe a drink's gonna help.

I'm in my big ass mansion, drunk and useless. What if I was a musician? A bass player or something. I even could write lyrics. I still remember that poem about the day my father rejected me. Damn, what if I was in a band with Vince, Tommy and that fucking inspector Mick? Hahahaha, maybe we would call themselves X-mas... Or maybe Mick would come up with a sick name. Damn, this is insane. Playing in front of thousands of people. Vince could be the singer. And if we ended up mad at each other I would call John to replace him until everything is fine. But John's voice would be way different than Vince's one. Hmm... What if I'm not real? Or maybe there's another dimension? Maybe Nikki Sixx from the other dimension made it to the big stage. Damn, I should stop drinking that shit. I started talking complete bullshit again. Where's my Jack Daniels when I need it?

Oh God, someone's knocking on the door. I'm drunk now and I don't think I want visitors. But I should check. Okay, going down the stairs... "I'm coming." I tried to sound sober as possible. Aaaand who's that? Wow, I have a letter? Thanks, I didn't know that someone actually care about me. Aaaand it's from.... MOIRA? Moira Adams, what the hell? I thought... Oh okay, now this is a pretty handwriting. I remember when I had sent her a letter. Hmm... Is she still keeping it? I literally tried not to vomit while writing it. Well, I really love her but I hate expressing it. Damn, I shouldn't have said that. FUCK FEELINGS. Now, let's read.

Dear Nikki,
I don't know what to begin with. First of all, I'm really sorry for the things I've said. I didn't expect it would hurt you so much. I hope you're doing okay. The next thing I wanted to say is about our feelings. After the wedding you probably want to kill me now. So I decided it's gonna be better for each of us to stop loving each other. I know it's gonna be hard (maybe for both of us or maybe for me only) but we have to. This love is killing us (or me, you may have already stopped loving me, which is great). And last but not least, don't make things you're gonna regret. Also don't fall in love with someone you can't have (you probably already know I was Miriam).

P.s.: I don't know whether you're planning on some murder or whatever but as a detective, who has already arrested you once, I don't want to see you in my arrest again.

Ah Moira, I wish it was that easy to forget you. I don't even know why's that happening. Why don't she stop trying to forget me? I can't either. And why a letter? She can always pay me a visit. Or maybe she's too busy living her dream. What about my dream? What about my dream to be with her? Now she's ruining it. She's ruining my only dream. I should have died when I got the opportunity. But I don't want to give up on her. She's the reason I breathe. She's the one who can make me feel better. Well, it still hurts after that wedding. But, if she doesn't love me anymore what about my love? It's doomed to be unrequited forever? No, I won't allow that. When her sister dies I'm gonna wait one year. Then I can take her somewhere with me. The things I would do to her...