𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚒𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚛𝚒𝚖𝚎

Chapter 58

Moira's POV

I woke up this morning with a slight pain down my throat. I messed up yesterday. But the thing that bothers me the most is that he almost killed me. He really almost killed me. That's why I have trust issues. Sooner or later you're betrayed by the people you love. Especially when they have such big criminal record. No wonder why he almost killed me. I called him Frankie again. But when he grabbed my throat I saw his eyes. They weren't sparkling anymore. They were so cold they sliced my heart in two. I can't forget the way he looked at me while choking me. Like, I was his worst enemy. I don't know what to do now. As I get up from his bed I see him sleeping on the floor. His face looks swallowed, did he cry last night? To be honest, I don't even care anymore. I still want to die but not as much as I want to kill him. I think I know where I can find a gun. In his closet. As I go there I see the telegraph. Maybe today or tomorrow I'll use it.

As I point the loaded gun against his sleeping body I try not to shake and cry. He ruined my life, he killed my sister, he broke my heart, now he has to die. But... I... Fuck... I can't do this. I can't. Instead of shooting him I went to the window and opened it. Then I shot up the skies as I always do. Maybe he's gonna wake up. But I have to keep myself from him. And he woke up.
"Moira, what are you doing?"
"Stay away from me or I'm gonna kill you."
"Put the gun away."
"DON'T MOVE."
"Alright, go on. Kill me. I deserve it."
"WHY NIKKI? WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? IF YOU SQUEEZED THE TRIGGER AGAINST MY HEAD I WOULDN'T BE SCREAMING FROM THE TOP OF MY LUNGS NOW."
"M-Moira... I'm s-so sorry."
"I'M TIRED OF YOUR APOLOGIES, NIKKI. THERE'S NO FUCKING POINT OF THEM."
"I messed up. I-I really messed up. Please, don't hate me."
"HOW AM I SUPPOSED NOT TO? IF IT WAS SOMEBODY ELSE THEY WOULD HAVE KILLED YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."
"Kill me."
"What?"
"Kill me. I don't want to live anymore." But I thought he was supposed to do so.

I put the gun down. I can't kill him. I can't do this. I- NO, STOP IT. I'M TIRED OF THIS LOVE. I'M FUCKING TIRED. As I raise my hand I shoot around the room leaving holes on the walls and breaking lights. Then I dropped the gun on the floor. The sound echoed in the room as I fall on my knees. I can't take it anymore. I knew that this was about to happen but why that soon? When I thought things could work out between us he had to ruin it. I should have died, not Stacey. I should have died when I slit my wrists. Vince wasn't supposed to save me. I should have died. Did I really let Stacey die? I'm so useless. Now I know how Vince felt when NIKKI killed Sharise. WHY HIM AGAIN? WHY?

Nikki's POV

She was shooting around like a freak. I understand her. She probably hates me now. Well, who could blame her? I ruined her life. She's probably dying inside. I can't do anything about it because I'm the reason for her pain and suffering. Maybe I should kill myself. Oh no, she fell on her knees. She's holding that gun with her shaking hands, her hair as messy as our minds, numb yet crying so bad she can't breathe. Is she scared of me? I think she is. I try to approach her but I'm afraid that she's gonna kill herself. As I took a step closer to her she put the barrel of the gun against her head.
"Moira, give me the gun."
"If I g-give you the g-gun will you k-kill me?"
"Please don't ask me that."
"Then may I ask you something else?"
"Everything."
"Take a plate."
"What?"
"Take a plate from the kitchen and come back here."

"Alright, here's the plate."
"Drop it on the floor."
"Drop it?"
"Yes, drop it." Alright, the plate just broke to pieces.
"Now?"
"Now pick up the pieces and put them together."
"Alright. Something else?"
"Apologize to the plate."
"What?" I think I understand what she's trying to do.
"Say you're sorry to the plate."
"I'm sorry, plate."
"Now, look at the plate. Is it whole or is it still in pieces?"
"It's still in pieces."
"That's what you did to me."
"What should I do?"
"Get me out of here."
"No, don't ask me that."
"You'd do anything for me, right?"
"Yes, but-"
"Please let me go."
"I can't do this. I-I love you."
"If you love someone you have to let them go."
"But if I let you go, you'll never come back."

She locked herself in the closet. What if she finds the knife again? Oh fuck.
"Moira, open the door."
"Leave me alone."
"Don't do this to me." Alright, I think she unlocked. And she's angry again.
"What did you just say?"
"I-I-"
"LISTEN. I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG TO YOU. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF." And she slammed the door again. Alright, I think she's calmer now. The key again. Moira, don't kill yourself please. Not in this closet. I used to do drugs in there.
"Moira, do you know why you should get out of there?"
"Because you would do drugs in here? I know."
"Alright, alright."
"Leave me alone, Nikki. It's over." Really? I thought we've just begun and it's over now?
"I'll be in the kitchen."

Actually I'm in front of Tommy's room. As I open the door I see his skinny body lying on the bed. He hasn't eaten lately. I should leave the door unlocked.
"Wow, you're here?"
"Tommy, I-"
"I have no time for your apologies. Just give me something to eat, okay?"
"You can go to the kitchen yourself. I'm leaving the door unlocked."
"Thank you, asshole. I thought you're gonna leave me starving to death. By the way I heard you guys screaming."
"I thought you hate me."
"I still do. But it's not like I don't know you at all. And I guess you really love her, right?"
"I don't think it matters anymore."
"You guys are so fucking messed up."