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Alone. All alone. With no one to be by his side.
Jay locked himself in his house. Away from the outside world. A week passed by since his bestfriend is gone.
He felt so guilty. Guilty of himself for not even taking the first step. Not even telling how he feels to him.
"You're being too selfish Jay. Why are you caring about your own feelings and not his?"
Jay wanted to bury himself. This sickening voice in his head made his situation worse. Although that voice was still him, himself.
"You must know that it's most likely possible that he'll never come back"
"Shut up." It's silly that Jay is fighting with his own self.
Here he is, laying on the couch. Not knowing what to do but maybe drift to dreamland.
Though, before he could do that, he heard some knocking at the door. Jay didn't get up or even ask who it is. But he's getting annoyed of the constant knocking, leaving him no choice.
"Who are y─"
"Jay hyung!" It was Jungwon and Sunoo. What are they even doing here in a Sunday morning.
"Why are you here at my house?"
"Well, we wanted to check up on you because apparently you're ignoring us, leaving us on read, and didn't even bother to go to schook this week?" Sunoo stated like it's the most obvious thing at the moment.
"Ah, I'll explain later don't worry. Just get in, it's 100% safe here" With that, the pair went in the house.
"Do you guys want to eat something?" Jay asked, as he examined the cabinets and drawers if there's anything edible there.
"I already ate some snacks a while ago" Sunoo answered.
"Can I drink some water, hyung?"
"Sure. here you go, Jungwon" He poured the water in a cup then handed it to the younger.
"Anyways, Jay hyung we're still waiting for an explanation" Sunoo spoke.
"Right so uhm.. it's really nothing but, Sunghoon left Korea" Jay nervously answered, scratching the nape of his neck.
"WHAT?!" Sunoo and Jungwon spoke in unison, as they were trying to process this information.
"Okay, what do you mean that's nothing?? Sunghoon hyung left and of course that will hurt your feelings"
"Yeah, you two are the bestest of friends" Jungwon added to what Sunoo said.
Jay only looked down, recieving worried expressions from the other two. Jungwon stood up from his seat going near the older.
"What are you─"
"I think you need it, hyung" Jungwon wrapped his arms around him, as Sunoo followed. The younger ones giving Jay a comforting hug.
Jay felt like melting at the touch. But it wasn't enough to fulfill what he wanted. There was something missing and I believe it's already very obvious.
"You two are really cute" ..together heh-
"Say that to Sunghoon hyung and you're dead." Sunoo threatened him while Jungwon let out a small laugh.
"What do you mean─"
"Hyung we know that you have a fat crush on your bestfriend. There's no reason to hide it now" Jungwon replied, seeing how the older was in disbelief.
"I- I have nothing to say.."
"Yup. You know, instead of entering your depression era, you should at least try to get used to the fact that he's not here right now"
"Won, that doesn't sound so friendly like-"
"Well I didn't know what else to say, Sunoo."
The two were then bickering over something that's not even relevant at the moment. Although Jay enjoyed seeing them like this, he wished that he had some popcorn at the moment.
☔
Jay, now laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, lost in his thoughts.
"It was nice spending the day with Sunoo and Jungwon.."
He felt like this would be a new start for him. But was even more guilty, thinking that he's 'replacing' Sunghoon.
"No Jay, Sunghoon would be fine seeing me with new friends. That's probably what's best for me.."
His conscience was a mess. It was like he was divided into two. Or maybe there were those little angel and devil on his shoulders, that you can't see.
If Sunghoon might not comeback next week, month, or actually never coming back, there was one solution that would be helpful for Jay.
As much as he hates it, he knew that would be the only way.
"I can't possibly move on from him, although it might be a better way.."
▬▬▬▬
── no the story isn't ending, it's just the beginning :)
