Going Ghost

Chapter One

I will never fly on another airplane, for as long as I live, with the man currently resting his hand inches too close to my thigh. Well, at least after our return flight in six months, after that never again.

I had incorrectly assumed his never ending mockery would persist through all scenarios. I was mistaken.

I tend to pride myself on my strength, my unwavering calmness that allows me to walk into boardrooms with big wigs and not feel a tingle in my belly at the prospect of accidentally stumbling over my words. I can steal myself through most situations with a tight lipped grin and a steady breath.

But everyone has a kryptonite and mine happens to be airplanes. I get a deep sense of dread seeing even pictures of one no less being seated on one. Statistics ramble through my brain endlessly before the panic sets in.

My therapist thinks it could be the trauma of living through 9/11, but I think I'm just one of the few who can admit they're flying bombs waiting to go off with fallible humans at the wheel.

I knew Greyson was watching the way my nails bit into my palms as we entered the terminal, I could see the glint in his eyes as I chewed at my cheeks. He had enough kindness not to call me out on it until after we were seated and the flight attendants finished their 'safety presentation.'

Safety my ass.

The thing that's supposed to give you hope that if this all happens to go belly up, we might have a chance.

Spoiler alert; we don't.

By the time the plane was speeding towards the end of the tarmac my rapid breathing filled the small space between us as I desperately clutched onto the armrest.

His hand suddenly found its way into mine and he shot me a look saying, 'I'm here. It's okay.' I wanted so desperately to be strong enough to rip my hand from his grip but by the point the panic had set in, and all I could mutter was statistic after statistic of all the ways this could go horribly wrong, I just wasn't strong enough.

He held my hand through take off, every bump of turbulence until the moment the wheels touched the earth once more. He told me story after story of glimpses into his loving childhood and distracted me from the racing thoughts desperate to claw to the surface.

I expected mockery but was met with kindness and I'm not sure which could be worse. Maybe, just maybe we were turning a new leaf. One where the bickering could stop and we could be civil in our mutual plight for the promotion.

I had almost convinced myself of it as we walked to the sleek black rental car waiting for us. I pulled open the door with aching fingers and nearly snuggled into the plush fabric, greedily inhaling the new car smell.

Greyson's eyes shone brightly, a chuckle pushing past his lips at the sight of my relieved face. "I truly never expected you to have a fear of flying. It was almost as amusing as watching you conjure up the only question you could think of in Jenean's office."

The question made me angry. Uncharacteristically angry. Not necessarily because of him, even if he is the catalyst, but angry at myself. Katy Perry wrote an entire song over a man who was "Hot and Cold," and at least she had enough common sense to skedaddle. Not me though, I allowed myself to be lulled into his false sense of kindness and almost forgot the way he dropped me like I was on fire the last time I tried to get close.

Greyson Crawford is like fire in the cold. It's captivating, beautiful and feels so damn good you almost forget each time that it can and will burn you. Not only burn you, but scorch the ground you stood on as a permanent reminder of your mistake.

"It was one stupid question Greyson, I was caught off guard and faltered. Are you ever going to give that up?"

He shifted gears effortlessly, his fingers dancing too close to my thigh for comfort as he peaked at me from the corner of his eye, "Are you ever going to stop looking at me like you can't forget the way I plowed into you from behind?" His question knocked off of balance momentarily. Neither of us had brought the topic of our brief lapse in judgement up in over a year, I hadn't even considered he'd dare to now.