To Free a Soul

Chapter Nineteen

⚠️smut warning for this chapter⚠️
A/N: Hold on to your hats, this is gonna be a long one

This house was huge. It was a dream, really. It was more then I could have ever asked for. Hawks and I had explored after we got here last night and had both gotten lost several times. It was completely furnished so we wouldn't have to worry about that for a long time, though there were some adjustments I would like to make in the future. I still couldnt believe that all of this was ours. It still didn't feel real, or like home, though once we moved our stuff it in would feel more homely, I'm sure. I had plans and things to do today, and wasn't looking forward to the treck back into the city but I had a few surprises up my sleeves that I still wanted to get done, despite the chaos that life had brought us recently.

I slipped out of bed, though my body protested against that fact greatly. I really didn't want to move. My bruises had become prominent and my everything hurt but I needed to do this. After everything Hawks had done for me this was only fair. I wrote a quick note, placing it on the pillow next to Hawks where I knew he would see it so that he wouldn't worry about me. Unlucky for me, I got lost trying to find the front door, only managing it on my second time around. I didn't have anything to change into, so I threw on my coat and shoes and made my way out. Hopefully I would remember the way.

I trecked down the mountain and through the snow, back into the city I had come to call home. I felt more at peace to walk around on my own then I had since I had arrived, all those months ago. They felt like nothing more then a distant dream now. I was awake so early that dawn wasn't even an idea to the world, but by the time I got to our old appartments the sun had climbed into the sky and the weather had warmed slightly. I had yet to receive a call or a text asking if I was okay, letting me know that Hawks was still asleep in bed. Hopefully he would sleep through till I made my way home.

Once I got to our appartments I unlocked mine and stepped inside. The place was a wreck. Glass and rubble of all kinds littered the floor, along with a few splotches of dried blood. The balcony doors were still shattered and the cold winter wind bkew straight through, freezing me down to my bones despite my coat, scarf and gloves. The suns rays reflected off the shattered doors and straight into my eyes, blinding me. I stepped out onto the balcony and lit up a cigarette here one last time, looking over the city and comparing the view to that of my new one. Wverything looked so much closer here and was so much louder. I felt sad to be leaving this place behind and yet also relieved. This place wasnt safe and sure, I showed that I could handke myself if it ever came to it but I didnt want to. I didnt want to have to fight anymore, though I had a feeling that if Hawks stuck around I would always have to in some sense. Fuck, the work I would have to do when we returned after our small, sudden vacation would be immense thanks to everything that had happened. I really wasnt looking forward to it.

I stepped around glass, picking up anything overly important and shoving it into a bag. I grabbed some clothes and other nessesities, along with what was left of Hawks Christmas presents that he never got to open. I walked into Hawks old appartment through the hole in the wall that was still there, rubble and glass crunching under my feet. I grabbed the two photo frames I had seen when I had first come over, shoving them into another bag. I grabbed some clothes for Hawks and some of his nessesities, taking this time to really nose around the place and investigate. Call it being nosy, call it investigative curiosity I didn't care. Really, there was nothing to see or find, just the usual boring decor and storage. There was one thing in a draw that caught my eye, a small, shiny packet that made me grin. I smirked and pocketed it. We woukd be needing that later. Under the bed in the bedroom I came across a small box, hastily wrapped in green and gold. There was a tag on it with my name on it, and so I put that away in the bag too. I shoved down my curiosity and decided to open it later because unlike my husband I could be patient.