2) pregnant

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Clarke

What the hell is wrong with me? I'm seriously throwing up all day for 2 weeks straight, but I don't have the virus, I don't have a fever, I've literally checked everything that I can think of that  could make me throw up and as a doctor I should be able to think of everything possible. Maybe I should ask my mom, I mean she probably knows it because she is the best doctor I know, but I don't want her to feel bad for me and than I'll have to admit that that time that she saw me throwing up two weeks ago wasn't the only time I throw up. God it's already 2 am I should really just fall asleep, but how do you fall asleep when you're overthinking everything?

"Thut thut thut" is it already 10 am? Ugh. God why makes my alarm always such an annoying sound? Hopefully I'll today go a day without throwing up. But the minute I thought that I felt it coming up so I ran over to the toilet. Shit I just accidentally bumped with my arms into something and now it fell in the toilet, great start of the day. What did I actually drop? I hope it isn't something to important, let's see, oh it's just a box of tampons. Tampons? Oh no please no, I'm trying so hard to think of the last time I got my period, but honestly I can't think of any period I had in the last month. This can't be true? But wait it seriously can't be, I mean when was the last time I slept with a man? Uhm let met think, oh yeah I remember, it was Finn, but that was like months ago so it can't be that. Pweh so I can't be pregnant, but it's still weird, throwing up, not getting my period... maybe I should just do a test to be sure.

Okay, it's probably not the case anyways, so just look, but I'm terrified to be honest, I mean what if I am? I'd would love to have a baby, but not like this, and I would like to know when I'm pregnant how the hell I even got pregnant, oh and Lexa what will she think of it? Will she believe me that I didn't cheat on her? Let's just get it over with, okay just turn it around...
Oh no this can't be true, please don't let this be true, how could this possibly be true. I can't so this, will I be a good mom? Okay let's just take things slow, I'm pregnant, should I tell everyone? But what do I tell them? Maybe it's better if I first figure out who the father is, who could possibly be it, and how? I mean I can't have had sex without knowing it right? Even if your drunk you must have some idea that you did, and I don't think I've been drunk lately. You know what I'll start with finding out for how long I've been pregnant, that will probably help with finding out how I got pregnant. I'll just do it by myself so I won't have to tell anyone yet, because everyone is so busy lately.

Its harder than I thought, doing a pregnancy ultrasound test thing to myself, but I'm managing to do it. Okay let's see, the baby must be 5 weeks old now. Where was I 5 weeks ago? Well I don't have to think about that for a long time, I was with Lexa, but this doesn't help me with finding out who the father is. The weird thing is I've spend ever single second with Lex so how did I get pregnant? For a second the idea that I maybe somehow got pregnant from Lexa popped up in my head but I directly realized that that was ridiculous, I mean two girls, it's just simply not possible.

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