The aftermath

Falling Apart

"You know, I never saw the freak in a full moon." Severus said to Sirius, smirking. Sirius got mad at him, he knew exactly who Severus meant, and he hated him for that.
"Who do you call a freak, Snivellus?" Sirius yelled at Severus but all Severus did was smirking evilly.
"You know exactly who I'm talking about. Your little crush, loverboy. Lupin."
Sirius thought it would be funny, a way to mess with Severus, "Don't you dare to say his name, you don't deserve to have the right. If you are really that interested go to the Whomping Willow tomorrow night." He didn't think Severus would really do it, since when Severus listens to what Sirius says to him.

——————

The sun was about to set in an hour or so, Remus slept in Sirius's bed to have energy for the night ahead of him.
Sirius set by the black lake, thinking about the conversation he had with Severus the day before.
He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't want to risk his relationship with Remus by telling him what he did, but he was afraid that Severus had actually listened to him. While Sirius set there the sun already set.
Remus was probably in the Shrieking Shack starting to transform.
James came to sit next to Sirius. He volunteered search for Sirius, he found him and wanted to ask why he didn't came to their regular place, why he was here and not there.
"Hey Padfoot, what's up? You look a bit.. distracted." James asked in a worried tone, he and Sirius had this sort of telepathy, they knew when they needed each other.
In that second Sirius just understood how horrible is what he did.

"I did something bad, I did a big mistake." Sirius sounded terrified which made James even more worried. "What did you do Sirius? What happened?"
There was a long pause, the air was tense.

"I told Snape to come to the Whomping Willow tonight." Sirius couldn't even look at James, but James could see the drops of water falling on the grass, Sirius's tears.
Then James thought for a second about what Sirius said, he tried not to panic too much, so he could think clearly.

"Bloody hell! Sirius! We got to go!" He got up, Sirius heard James's voice and then it hit him, Remus can kill Severus if no one will save him. It's not only about Remus's secret, it's about Severus's life.
He tried to get up but he just couldn't move, he tried so hard but he just couldn't.
He wanted to kill him self for not moving.
James yelled, "We Gotta Go! Sirius! Now!"
Now Sirius started to cry, still aren't able to move.
"I know! But I can't move my self! I am trying! I can't!" He sobbed.
James was shocked, he couldn't believe he was in this situation, Severus on his way to the whomping willow, Remus along over there for the first time in the last two years, and Sirius doing such a thing and sobbing on the ground about it.
"Go! James GO!" Sirius yelled, sobbing.
James started running, running to save his friends.

——————

"Snape get out of here! Now!" James yelled at Severus. "Why? What are you hiding?" Severus asked cockily.
But before James could answer him he got to see it,
Remus ending his transformation to a wolf. Peter on his back as a rat. They both looked clam, no humans around.
But in the moment he saw them it was too late, the wolf's eyes got locked on Severus and James.His eyes became hungry and there is no Remus left in them, only the wolf.
James pulled Snape to the corner of the room and yelled quickly. "When I finish the transformation, get on me and we'll get out of here." Then he started his animagus transformation and in the end of it there was a big stag standing in front of Severus. Severus quickly got on the stag and the stag started running.
The wolf managed to scratch Severus's left hand deeply before Severus and James managed to completely run away.

——————

Sirius never got to the dorms that night, or to the Shrieking Shack. He set there next to the black lake frozen in place, along, sobbing most of the time.
Then the sun came up and Sirius was finally able to get up, to stand up and walk around, his legs worked again.
He went to his dorm which he knew would be empty and took a cold shower to make it all hurt more, he knew he deserved it. The cold water, the warm tears, the pain.
He got to the hospital wing but couldn't open the door, he was sure James and Peter were already there. He pinned his ear to key hole so he could hear his friends, listen to their conversation. So he could hear Remus's voice, know he is okay.
"Hey Prongs, Wormtail, how was it? It went well? Where is Padfoot?" It was Remus, in the moment Sirius heard him he started to hold back his tears.
He was so mad at him self. He loved Remus, with all of his heart.

James took on him self to tell Remus what Sirius did. Sirius could hear Peter quietly sobbing, and Remus voice, so blank, so emotionless, so un like him. "Well where is he now?" Remus asked. James and Peter just looked at Remus with sad eyes.
"We.. We don't know." Peter said, trying not to cry even more.
It killed Sirius to hear it, and the next part killed him even more.
"Well he didn't thought it was his reasonability to be here and tell me this him self? He calls him self my lover, when he almost makes me a murderer and then don't even have the guts to tell me himself?" Remus sounded angry and upset, but mostly,  disappointed.
Sirius opened the door to see hurt Remus holding back tears looking at him.
"You know, I was a werewolf long before I met you and I always thoughts I am a monster. When I met you I stoped thinking like that, you were the reason. Before last night I wasn't a monster, not really. But now, you made me one."
Sirius stood there, tears falling from his eyes, un able to speak, just standing there, again, frozen in place.
For the first time of his life, Remus looked at him with the most cold expression his face ever wore.
All Sirius could do is to quietly say, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." on and on and on. Until Remus spoke and then Sirius shut his mouth once again. "Oh. Well if you are sorry it makes everything right." Remus was mean and cynical, he knew how sensitive Sirius was in that moment and he did it any way.
James had decided to shut his mouth and not to come between them, not before Lily came in. Lily came smiling and saw everyone's faces.
She and James exchanged looks. They didn't date at the time, but their best friends did. They knew exactly what they needed to do.
James took Sirius away from there, and Lily went to Remus. Peter decided to go to class, to run away from all of this.

——————

When Sirius and James got to the dorms, Sirius took a bottle of fire whiskey from under his bed and started to drink it without stoping.
It hit James what Sirius was doing and he took the bottle from him.
"Give it back James!" Sirius yelled, James tried to stay calm, he didn't want to fight with Sirius at the moment, he knew it would come later, but he denied it.
"You can't drown it with whiskey Sirius!" James said harshly, but Sirius just yelled at him loader so James lost he temper. There was no longer denial, it had to be done, and now.
"No Sirius! No! You did something wrong! You did a horrible thing to the person you love them most, and it's so stupid! So fucking stupid!" James yelled at Sirius and the room got awfully quiet.
The Sirius opened his mouth and took a deep breath, "You are right James. I hurt Remus. And he would never want to be with me again. Which mean I'll be along for the rest of my life because I would never love anyone else. Now please. Give me the bottle."
He said it so calmly and clear.
It wasn't dramatic, it was un like for Sirius to be this calm. The expression he had on him was blank. The tone was calm but hurt. And even those dramatic words didn't feel so dramatic. Just sad. Sad because it might be true.
Very un likely, but might.