Cornerstone

Mother Knows Best

"You seem like you've been distancing yourself from me lately," Mum said, making her morning cup of tea. "I mean I barely have any idea what your life is like at school." I stayed silent and continued eating my cereal.

"You should also really start thinking about what you wanna do after you graduate. There's not much time left y'know," she continued.

"I'm trying mum," I mumbled. Claire had ended up going back to her shitty boyfriend, as expected, forcing me to deal with mum all alone. I hated how she only seemed to care about what was going on in my life when Claire wasn't here. My sister was always her number one priority.

"Well maybe we should start trying harder," she gave me a stern look and sipped her tea.

"Can I just please eat? I'm too busy chewing to plan my entire life that is far ahead of me," I scoffed.

"I'm seriously worried for you Charlotte. I just don't want my daughter throwing her future away," mum put her hand on my shoulder.

"I just find it really funny how you only seem to be worried for me when Claire hasn't even turned seventeen yet and is living with her basically abusive boyfriend," I replied, a little too harshly. I immediately regretted what I said the second it rolled off my tongue but it was too late. Mum's face had changed and her forehead wrinkled.

"Don't use Claire as your little shield from responsibility," she hissed. The rest of the morning was spent in silence. Mum loved using silence as punishment. She knew that after a certain point I wouldn't be able to handle it anymore and come back running to her, begging on my knees for forgiveness. I also knew that if it was her and Claire who had gotten into this argument, she wouldn't have defended me.

"Bye mum. Love you," I said to her as I opened the door to go to school. She was sitting on the couch reading a book and aggressively flipping through pages, hoping that the words on the paper would make me disappear.

"Lock the door on your way out," she bluntly replied.

I knew that it wasn't that deep and just some stupid argument between us but I was fighting tears my entire way to school. I had ended up leaving the house early, wanting to get away from her as soon as possible. That meant I had the choice of walking to school or waiting for the bus for a really long time. I didn't mind walking. It meant that no one could question why my eyes were puffy and I wouldn't have to deal with the stares from random students. I fought with mum a lot. Especially since the divorce and moving here. I think she thought of me as my father's child and of Claire as hers. Claires blonde hair and slim figure resembled my mother, while my mousy brown hair and freckled nose resembled my father. It wasn't hard to realize why mum liked Claire more than me. Of course she never admit to it. She didn't have to.

School was miserable...as always. Alex had kept passing me notes in class asking when he should pick me up for the boardwalk but I ignored them all and tried to focus in class. As much as I didn't want to admit it, mum was right. If I actually wanted to graduate, I would have to pass every single class.

During lunch I sat as everyone talked. Alex kept looking at me but I tried to ignore it. Olivia has asked me multiple times if I was okay and I had snapped at her, telling her to mind her business. I apologized right after and felt terrible. I guess after everyone witnessed that situation, they were too scared to ask me any more questions so they all stayed quiet. After a while I got up to go to the toilet. No one seemed to notice that I had gone.

As I opened the door, to my surprise, it was basically empty except for a blonde fixing her makeup in the mirror. She was turned so I couldn't see her face. As I tried to walk to one of the stalls she turned and bumped right into me.

"Ugh watch it will you?" she scoffed. Her expression quickly changed though when she saw who I was. A grin wiped on her face.

"Oh my God I am so sorry I didn't see you there!" she exclaimed. "Sorry, what was your name again? Sydney?"

"Uh Charlotte," I forced a smile.

"Oh of course Charlotte," she put her hands together. "How 'ave ya been?"

"I've been better. How've you been, Alyssa?" I replied. I was afraid I sounded a little too blunt when her smile seemed to tone down.

"Never been better," she smirked. "Heard you hang out with the monkeys now. Kinda strange. Don't really see you as that type of girl."

"Haha yeah I guess I'm deceiving to the eye," I awkwardly joked. She laughed, very forcefully.

"Well see you around," she smiled.

"See you," I replied, walking into one of the stalls.

I basically spent twenty minutes leaning against the stall, reading a book. I wasn't in the mood to be around anyone. My mood had slightly improved and I wasn't as upset as I was this morning until I walked out of the stall and looked into the mirror.

On the mirror the words "Charlotte is a WHORE," were written in lipstick. It also just so happened that the lipstick shade was the exact same colour that Alyssa was wearing. I could feel my face heat up and a burning sensation in my throat. My hands balled into fists and my nails dug deep into my palm. I couldn't fucking do this anymore. I was already upset enough. This was the last straw. This grouped with everything that had happened completely pushed me off the edge. Ever since moving to Sheffield I could tell that it wasn't for me. It was nice for a while and a cool experience but that's all it was. An experience. It wasnt my real life. It was just something standing between me and my life. Blocking me off from my supposed real life.

I went to my locker and shoved everything into my bookbag. Anything that didn't fit, I carried. I called Claire. As pathetic as it was, Claire's boyfriend drove me home. I hated him but he was the only person we knew with a car.

"Charlotte, you really need to tell me what happened, like right now," Claire put a hand on my shoulder. We were both sitting in the back seat while Brian drove.

"Fine. But you have to promise to not tell mum. I don't need her going all crazy at the school," I sniffled.

"I promise," she held her pinky up to me. It was something we had done since we were little. I intertwined my pinky with hers and told her everything. Including the whole Alex thing. We ended up making a plan.

"That cunt," Claire muttered. "What did you say her name was again? Alyssa?"

"Yeah," I rested my head on her shoulder.

"How are you gonna break it to Alex?" she asked.

"I dunno. I don't think I can," I frowned. She put her hand through my hair and massaged my scalp.

"We'll think of something," she kissed my forehead.

When we got home we didn't tell mum. We were gonna wait till later. Brian and Claire dropped me off at Cornerstone so I could break the news to Jess. As much as I hated Brian, I loved how helpful he was being right now. Claire waited outside by the cashier for me as I told Jess why I had to quit.