You Are My Sunshine (Miritama Fanfic)

Five~

       Tamaki's POV

 I wanna die. Everything hurt. In fact, I felt like I was dying. I couldn't breathe. It was the moment in science class all over again, but five times worse. I couldn't move at all. My eyes were blurred with tears. Everything was blurry and wet and cold. Somebody wrapped their arms around my waist and started talking to me, but my mind was just shutting down and I didn't know who. Their words, too, were blurred, but I made out a few phrases that gave away who it was. "Remember to try and breathe, Tamaki...I'm right here if you need something... I'll try to light everything up, like you told me yesterday. I'll light up your world if I need to... But you're strong enough..." Mirio. It was Mirio. 

        Mirio was stroking my hair and clutching me gently, which comforted me a little bit. I felt myself shaking. I couldn't stop crying, no matter how hard I tried. But... I couldn't feel myself shaking as much. The tears were falling still... but slowly. It was all slowly clearing up. "Tamaki... do you want me to stay here or just give you some space, or...?" Mirio asked. I wanted to just curl up with him and fall into a deep sleep forever. That's what I wanted. But it wouldn't be what he would want, so... of course, I didn't say it.

"Stay... please..." I managed to murmur, my voice dry and brittle. Mirio looked surprised. "Are you sure?" he asked. I moved my head slightly in an attempt to nod, knowing I was blushing at least a little bit. Smiling, he picked me up in his arms and I knew instantly that I was bright red. He laid me in my bed and I realized that the panic attacks had completely exhausted me. He sat on the edge of my bed. "I knew it... you looked tired all day," he said. I'd stopped crying completely, something I never would have guessed to happen. I was still shaking a little, but that feeling of dread and anxiety and stress was replaced with exhaustion. Mirio ruffled my hair, gripping my hand in his other hand. "Next time... text me when you're having a panic attack. I can help you." he said. "Mhmm..." was all I could manage. My eyelids started to close uncontrollably. "It's okay... Tama. You can sleep. I'll be here when you wake up." "Mmm... T-Thanks... Mi...Mirio..."

.....

"Tamaki? You awake?" the soft voice that belonged to Mirio whispered. I nodded, not wanting to open my eyes. "I thought so... but... you were talking in your sleep... about me." he said. That got my attention. I sat up, opening my eyes and cringing at the light in the room. "I... really?" I asked weakly. He nodded, turning red slightly. "W-What were you dreaming about?" he asked after I didn't say anything. I shrugged, ducking my head. "I... d-don't remember. I'm sorry." I replied truthfully. "Er... it's fine." "Hey, Mirio..." "Hm?" "T-Thank you... and... I'm sorry if I'm just a pain." I said. "What? N-No, why would you think that?" "Erh... I... it's complicated..." I murmured. A flash of concern showed in Mirio's expression. "Okay. And... Tamaki... I want you to know that I really want you to talk to me if you ever need anything. Like... if you're having a panic attack, for instance. Just text me and I'll be there. And... I really... I think I love you... Tamaki."

Mirio's POV

A blush quickly made its way across Tamaki's face. He lifted his arm halfheartedly. I didn't know I said what I thought I said until he reacted that way. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't even sure I'd said what I'd said. "Why...?" Tamaki's arm fell to his side, his face showing complete questioning. "W-Why?" I stammered. "Yeah... why... I can't remember the last time somebody said that to me..." he whispered. My breath caught in my throat. Why? Did he ask me why I...

 "Tamaki, it's... there's a lotta reasons." I said. Tamaki stood up, his eyes dull and a little scared. "I... I've gotta be... dreaming..." he murmured. "Look, Tama... you're not." I replied quietly. He averted his gaze. "Then why did you..." I grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him slightly. That got him to look at me. "Because- Because, Tamaki, you're stronger than anyone I know and I need you with me~! Yeah, I know that you're shy and fragile and breakable on the outside, but on the inside, you're stronger than everyone else!" I told him. His eyes welled with tears. "T-Then you... you see me wrong..." he whispered. "NO, I DON'T, TAMAKI, TRUST YOURSELF FOR ONCE! TRUST ME!" I yelled. He didn't say anything. He just cried. He didn't even move. The tears just rolled down his face in silence. He sank to the floor, his tears not making a sound as they hit the floor. "I... Mirio... I... I love you too..."

 I crouched down next to Tamaki, stroking his hair gently. "Why are you crying?" I asked, trying to comfort him no matter the reason. "I... I'm... so sorry... it's been... so hard... and... I... I tried to kill myself... two weeks ago... and... if I would've known..." he sobbed. I tensed. He really tried to commit suicide? I suddenly felt terrible. What if it was something I said or something I did? What if it was my fault? I wiped a tear away from his face. "You do realize that you could've come to talk to me." I told him quietly. He stood up awkwardly, wiping his eyes with the corner of his sleeve. "I know... I'm sorry I didn't... but... I thought you'd-" "Don't be ridiculous. I wouldn't laugh at you or judge you at all." I cut him off assertively. He managed a small smile, then sat down behind me, taking me by surprise by hugging me. "I'm sorry," he whispered. I didn't move for fear that I'd startle him. I reached back and put my hand over his. "Please, don't worry about it. I don't want you being more stressed than you already are. And if that means that you just wanna stay friends, I get it." I admitted. His breath caught in his throat, I heard it. "I... can I... c-can you... can you be my boyfriend...?" he stammered. I stopped breathing for what seemed like forever. "Yeah. Yeah, I'd like that."