The Donald Trump Diaries

The Tinder Date

It was another day another slay, Trump had been staring at his phone for the past 4 hours, hoping to find more pictures of Biden, more revealing ones if possible... But as he expected, there was nothing.

Trump whined, resting his head on his palm, he desperately needed more, and to get it he needed to do more than scroll through his phone, "I can do better than that... I'm the president for Christ's sake!" Donald muttered.

Suddenly he got an idea, his lips curved into a smile as he grabbed his phone excitedly and dialed a number, but the smile soon disappeared once he realized that his fat greasy sausage fingers couldn't press the right numbers.

After 20 minutes of trying he finally got it right and pressed the phone to his fat double chin.

After waiting for a few seconds someone finally picked up, It was Hillary Clinton. She didn't sound very pleased to hear from him.

" What the phuck do you want Trumpet?"
Hillary spat into her phone, it was 6 am and he had woken her up from her nap, the woman was not happy about this, but nevertheless she listened to what he had to say.

" You owe me a favour Clinton, remember?" Trump replied.

" No I don't." The woman replied quickly before hanging up.

She adjusted her glasses, getting ready to go back to sleep until she heard her phone ring once again. She sighed, picking up the phone.

" Listen to me Hillary, if you don't do this one thing for me I'll make sure that picture of you swimming naked in Hawaii goes viral" said the wrinkly carrot.

Everything went silent, a few seconds later she finally gave in and asked what he wanted from her.

"I want to use your tinder account" he said.

"What the fuck Donald, couldn't you use your own? Why mine?" The old hag questioned.

"We both know that Biden likes you, and I need your tinder to be able to carry out what I had in mind" he said, lowering his voice.

"Oh, I see. You're planning to sabotage him aren't you? I won't ask questions but you're lucky that I hate Biden more than I hate you"

Soon after Trumpet was done talking to Clinton and found himself having trouble typing her name and password into the tinder log in page, victim to his fat sausage fingers once again.

"H-i-l-l-a-r-y C-l-i-t T-o-n" he typed, grimancing at the unfortunate use of words.

"....now the password" he mumbled.

"....fuckmeJeffbezos22" Donald read out loud, trying his hardest not to laugh.

~

Once trump logged in he quickly searched for Joe's profile, moments later he jumped up with excitement seeing that they had matched.

He felt a flutter in his chest as he looked at the image, he not only admired the image of the sexy man beside him but also the one of himself, the makeup he had put on was so hot that Biden wouldn't even be able to tell the difference.

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Daddy Biden: Hey babygirl. 😏

Hillary Clit Ton: Hey Daddy!

Daddy Biden: you're looking extra sexy today...did you get spray tanned?

Hillary Clit Ton: Just for you daddy.

Daddy Biden: mmmm.... Let's meet up today, be at the golden pubes bar at 10 pm okay babygirl?

Hillary Clit Ton: yes daddy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trump stared at his phone in disbelief, his hands shaking. Still wearing his makeup, the orange troll twerked victoriously and accidentally sharted through the wall.