The Donald Trump Diaries

The Wedding

Play wedding march above ⬆️

It was a beautiful sunny day, and a very special one for Donald Trump and Joe Biden. In their mid to late 70's and after many divorces, these two had finally found love in the most unlikely circumstances.

Everything seemed to be going perfectly, almost too perfectly. Joe stood at the altar patiently waiting for his beloved as he wiped the tears from his eyes, and to the sound of the wedding march out came Trump walking down the isle in a fitted white dress with his face covered by a veil.

The audience threw rose petals at Donald as he walked past them. He joined Joe and they looked into each others eyes lovingly, they couldn't believe they were finally getting married...

They both said their wedding vows, and just as Joe was about to say I do he noticed something strange... By now his hubby Trumpy would have let out at least one nervous fart... And he wasn't nearly as orange as usual...

Joe lifted the veil quickly to reveal Hillary Clinton posing as Trump!!

"... I do mister president" she said with an evil smirk.

"Oh fuck not this again! Where's Donald?!"

Everyone turned around and there was Trump, stood in the back of the room digging into the wedding cake with his bare hands, his whole body stained with frosting.

"...oh" Joe mumbled.

"HAHAHAA" Hillary shouted. "Since I'm now married to your dumb pedo ass I am now the first lady of the United States!"

" Hillary babygirl noo...." James Charles, who was officiating the marriage, interfered.

"Joe didn't get the chance to say I do before we discovered it was you... therefore you technically aren't married #awkward"

"What do you mean we're not married?" Hillary scoffed in disbelief.

"We aren't. Now security, please escort this crazy lady out of here" Joe demanded.

"don't fucking touch me!" Hillary exclaimed. "We are married I have the fucking ring to prove it" she said, lifting her hands up in the air.

"I'll take that" Trump said, pulling the ring off with his sticky frosting covered fingers.

"FUCK YOU ALL!" Hillary screamed as security pulled her away.

As they dragged her across the room, she tripped over the table, making the security guards let go of her.

"Take this you faggots!" Hillary said, lifting her dress up and projectile shitting all over the wedding cake.

The crowd gasped at the sight, covering their noses over the smell as Hillary finally left the room.

Suddenly the wedding march came back on and everyone turned around once again. This time, the person walking down the isle really was Donald Trump.

"Make America great again" he said as he walked past everyone

Trump blew a kiss at his boo Biden as he walked towards him, both of them overcome with emotion, this time nobody would get in the way of their everlasting love for each other.

Joe Biden greeted his Husband to be with a passionate sniff. "You look so sexy right now" he whispered.

"Finally, we are gathered here today to unite this fabulously gay couple in holy matrimony"

Gagging could be heard in the audience over the silence as they waited for James Charles to speak again.

"I will not be asking if anyone objects to this wedding because I'm sure all of you would, so forever hold your silence bitches. Now, with that said, Donald you hoe, you may now say your vows!"

"I, Donaldina Trumpina, take thee, Daddy Biden, to be my wedded Daddy.. I mean husband.. to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, not for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to fuck, till death do us part"
Trump said, holding back tears.

"I now pronounce you Husband and Husband, You may now KISS" James shrieked in excitement.

Trump and Biden sucked each others tongues as the crowd slowly died from asphyxiation because of Hillary's shit fumes.

The happily married couple walked over to the table with a knife in hand.

"WHO WANT'S CAKE!!!" They both exclaimed.

Scroll to their honeymoon!! ⬇️