Your Eyes

Seventeen

His voice makes you feel safe the first time, you lift your head up to face him directly.

"What can I do if I want this no more?"

He frowns, browsing an answer from his mind, "...Tell me why first."

You look down again, "I can't tarnish my name only because I want to be approved. No Death Eaters care about it. Haven't you seen how the Dark Lord treats me? He gave me a Dark Mark cause great pain every day, different from others, and on my right arm. What that shows is he despises me, thinks I'm abnormally different and low from others. There is no point for me to continue, then."

"Good," he takes a deep sigh after you finished. "It is glad to hear that from you. However, when you're in, you're in for life."

"I know," you bite your lip again which gives you a warning glare from him.

"I already defected him," he uses a calm voice and speaks startling words. "I'm spying for Dumbledore, and so can you."

You know this is a mortal decision, you fall in silent.

"I'm not going to make you do anything, I will—"

"Tell Professor Dumbledore that I am a defected Death Eater who is willing to spy for him," you cut him off the first time, said resolutely.

Snape stares at you for the following minute. You struggle to tie your hands together to make yourself steady as his eyes gaze at yours.

"You are brave," he finally says.

"And so are you," you smile, he takes you into his arms after a short period of startle. 

None of you speak a word for the following hours. You fall asleep in his arms, leaning to his warm chest. He gently strokes you on your head, fondles your hair. 

"It's already curfew," you feel Snape's hand gently shaking your shoulder. He smiles resignedly, "I fell asleep, too."

It's completely dark now, you can't see him anymore. You search for your wand, "Lumos Maxima!"

The glare forces you to close your eyes.

"Nox!"

"Lumos." You open your eyes, Snape is staring at you with his lightened wand in his hand as if he's looking at an idiot. 

Your face turns red under his why-are-you-so-thick gaze.

"Can you believe there's someone who slept more than five hours during daytime, forced her Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor skipped his dinner and used Lumos Maxima at nearly 11 pm trying to attack her Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor to get him blind?" he teases. 

"It is not always the student's fault," you tease back.

He smiles, and becomes serious suddenly, "We have to get back now, get up!"

"No, we can't!" you pull his robe. "They will take points from my house!"

"So you want to stay here the entire night?"

You nod.

Snape's eyes fill with anger caused by your words, "Don't you notice how dangerous this is? In the Dark Forest?"

"Please..." you bite your lip again.

"Not. A. Chance," his tone drops to negative degrees again.

"Please! You are here for me!" you suddenly argue loudly.

He seems to be stunned by your words, then he insists, "No means no, come on."

You swallow hard and beg, "Please, I want to stay with you here tonight."

He sighs, seems to argue with his own thought. Shortly, he answers, "Fine, we need to get to a safer place, though."

Snape leans on a tree with your head on his chest. He collected some branches and lighted a fire to keep you two warm. You are really satisfied with his brilliant idea, fall asleep instantly while he keeps fondling your head.

Snape couldn't fall asleep, though. 

In the depth of his mind, he notices something. Something he had experienced before, something hurt him almost to death. 

Seventeen years, of regretting, waiting, suffering. 

Is it coming to an end now?

He looks at you in his arm who is sleeping peacefully, the long eyelashes quietly lie on your eyelids, like the wings of a butterfly. He reaches out to it, long, slender fingers touching your soft left eyelash and you slightly twitch your eye. 

The flares shine on your face, Snape looks at you carefully for the first time since two years ago when he met you in the Potions classroom.

You are being precious in his heart, after that girl, after seventeen years.

You know none of these, listening to his comforting heartbeats with no horrible nightmares about Nagini anymore since you have seen death. 

Snape slept at dawn. He was confused, and frustrated. He couldn't figure out a solution for something, that he mustn't have done, even think about. He knows this will bring both of you to the edge of the cliff, and there will be no pleasing ending for this. However, he knows, he can't help.  

He knows it seventeen years ago.

He placed his hand on your eyes and caressed softly during the entire night before he slept. He had finally decided as you suddenly gasped in pain and shivered with tears dropping from your closed eyes. 

He is not going to let it go this time. He is going to follow his nature, both of your need someone to comfort.

 This is completely wrong, his mind told him calmly, but I won't miss a second time. 

He has made his decision and wanted to get a quick nap before he gets to go. However, right before he closes his eyes, he swipes your hair aside from your forehead, quietly speaks as if you are his lover.

"Goodnight, Miss y/ln."