Lone Thorn on a White Rose || soonhoon; hoshi-centric

chap 4: a shared secret

Another day of long and hard (yet productive and successful) practices left all of the members absolutely exhausted. Most of them decided to turn into bed for the day even though the clock only read 6pm. Soonyoung had been one of those people. With the additional mental stress they were facing, Soonyoung felt like they could konk out for the next three days... and still be tired. Soonyoung recalls another time when he had felt the same way and Jihoon had pointed out that would literally be a coma. Soonyoung said it then and will say it again: They could really go for a mini coma right now.

Soonyoung had just placed the last tiger plush securely around them, pulling their blankets up to their chin when a knock sounded at their door. Soonyoung quickly sat up, flicking on the bedside lamp as the door was pushed open revealing a seemingly very nervous Wonwoo. Always cool as a cucumber Jeon Wonwoo? Nervous? Yeah, Soonyoung was a little freaked out.

"Oh, were you about to go to bed?" Wonwoo started, hands wringing together, gaze falling to the ground in an attempt to avoid Soonyoung's curious eyes. "I'm sorry, I'll just go-"

"Wonwoo," Soonyoung called, promptly cutting off Wonwoo's rambling. "Come here." Soonyoung scooted over making a space for Wonwoo to join them on the bed.

Wonwoo shuffled over quickly, still avoiding eye contact with Soonyoung. It looked like Wonwoo wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

"Sorry for bothering you again. I know you must be tired, you should really go to sleep, I can talk to you later," Wonwoo started rambling again, starting to move off the bed as quickly as they had sat down.

"It's okay," Soonyoung called as they grabbed Wonwoo's hand, stopping the younger from moving off the bed any further.

Silence encased the room as Wonwoo settled back onto the bed, head lolling over to rest on top of Soonyoung's as their shoulders pressed together.

"There is something I have been keeping to myself- Keeping from all of you..." Wonwoo trailed off, a deep inhale followed by a shaky exhale. A moment to compose the thoughts in Wonwoo's head.

"I thought I would never need to tell any of you, I didn't think I would ever get to debut let alone with the people I became closest to."

Soonyoung thinks they stopped breathing as the words registered in their mind. Wonwoo kept a secret from all of them for that long? What did Wonwoo not want to tell them for so long?

"I was scared of what would happen if I told anyone, I was so scared I would get kicked from the company. I thought I could just keep it to myself forever, just keep pushing it down and that it would go away? But I think," Wonwoo took in another deep, shaky breath. Soonyoung took that moment to intertwine the fingers of their already clasped hands.

"I think I have to tell you, Soonyoung."

What? Soonyoung's brows furrow as they turn to face Wonwoo, the others head dipped, eyes closed.

"Won, don't force yourself. If you're not re-"

"I'm nonbinary," Wonwoo croaks out, finally lifting their eyes to meet Soonyoung's. "I'm sorry." Wonwoo heaved out as tears started to stream down their face.

"Hey, stop," Soonyoung called frantically wiping the tears on Wonwoo's face. "Why are you sorry? There is no reason to be sorry."

"I-if I would've said something e-earlier," Wonwoo cried out desperately sucking in a deep breath through their sobs. "Maybe you wouldn't have felt so scared, felt so alone." Heavy sobs continued to angrily fall from Wonwoo's lips as they tightly pulled Soonyoung against their chest. It was as if they were trying to protect Soonyoung in that moment, something they felt as if they had failed to do in the first place.