Lone Thorn on a White Rose || soonhoon; hoshi-centric

chap 7: black out

Soonyoung's Pronoun structure:
(He/Him/His/Himself)

Tig/Tig/Tigers/Tigerself

- - - -

Seungkwan is tight lipped about what the (argument) conversation was about last night, and Jihoon is too ashamed of the whole thing to willingly air his own dirty laundry like that. The rest of the members had tiptoed around the other two, scared of being the cause of another outburst. Well, everyone except for Seungcheol. The leader wouldn't seem to get out of Jihoon's personal space since he had woken up at the ripe time of noon today - Jihoon was a little upset that his day off had been half wasted by sleeping.

Since Jihoon had opened his bedroom door it seemed like Seungcheol wouldn't let the other out of his sight. Asking him how he was doing, if he slept alright, if he needed anything to eat, 'You need to take care of yourself, Hoonie.' Jihoon had grumbled when those words left the leaders mouth for the third time that day - Jihoon had only been awake for two hours at that point. Jihoon just wanted some space to breathe, but it seemed he wouldn't be afforded that luxury anytime soon. In a last ditch effort to find some peace and quite, or at least peace and quite from Seungcheol, Jihoon decided he would go to his studio. Jihoon didn't need to go, hadn't planned to go - for once, he had actually wanted to take a real day off, but here he is.

"I have a few things I need to work on, so I'm actually going to head to the studio," Jihoon said, hoping his tone didn't reveal that he was lying to the rest of the members. Jihoon knew he was a horrible liar, but in this moment he so desperately hoped he had come off as believable.

"Why don't I join you? I have some lyrics I was wanting to work on anyways," Seungcheol's chipper voice piped up, a bright smile on his face, but a curious look in his eyes. Jihoon was starting to feel nervous and definitely just wanted a moment away. A moment to try and figure out what is going on.

"Well actually-"

"I'll come, too, Hoonie!"

Soonyoung.

Jihoon knows the fear was absolutely palpable on his face, anyone in the room could see the red flashing danger signs that shined in Jihoon's eyes.

Soonyoung couldn't come. Jihoon couldn't even look the other in the face, how was he supposed to sit in a room with tig for hours? How could he do that, when he felt as though he didn't deserve to be around Soonyoung until he apologized to tig? And how was he supposed to apologize when he didn't feel as though he deserved to be forgiven, when he felt as though he had done nothing to rectify the wrong he had done.

"I want to be alone." The words were strong, unforgiving, harsh.

They sounded mean.

Shit.

Jihoon closed his eyes, not wanting to see the look of hurt that inevitably flashed on Seungcheol and Soonyoung's faces. Jihoon couldn't stand to see that he caused Soonyoung pain again. Quickly lowering his head to the ground, Jihoon made his way to the front door slipping on his sandals before making his way towards the studio. If anyone noticed he hadn't taken any of his supplies they didn't say anything. It's not like they could say anything now, Jihoon noted once he was halfway there and realized he had left his phone behind.

The walk had felt agonizingly long, the chilly air nipping at his exposed feet, the loose sweats, and thread bare sweatshirt, usually reserved for sleeping, not doing much to keep the rest of his body warm either. Once in the HYBE building he swiftly made his way to the Universe Factory. A sense of calm filled his bones as he turned on the purple LED lights, filling the room in a celestial glow.