Ineffable

So It Begins

There's a number of words one would use to describe Lucifer, but fiery is not one of them.

Aziraphale stares wide eyed at his angelic robes, now scorched in the front from the blast of the fire that spontaneously appeared, swallowing her most beloved whole, surrounded by his brethren, who all look equally horrified.

No, I don't think fiery would even come close. Aziraphale's celestial mind thinks up unhelpfully.

In truth, up until now, Lucifer was considered Heaven's brightest and most beloved angel. Everyone loved him, he loved them all back.

He was also quickly becoming Hasdiel and Zadkiel's best customer for Earthly delights.

But none of that, Aziraphale didn't think, would warrant burning up in Heavenly fire, leaving a disgusting smell in the air that stank up the entire Heavenly host, nor causing a panic among the angels as they scrambled to get out of the burnt area.

Aziraphale wasn't particularly close with Lucifer himself. Lucifer was just always there. Someone he saw often enough to know by name since their creation. But even this was long before the human concept of cliques, it wouldn't be too far off to say it also applies here.

But so many wanted to Know him. Especially the self-identified female angels.

One in particular took it especially hard, as she told Aziraphale as they were herded away.

"I wanted him to Know me! He was beautiful! I even orchestrated exactly where it would happen."

But even once they were away from the aftermath, the angels disn't calm down, instead all rushing to find each other.

"Aziraphale!" cries one such angel, as she grabs him by his corporation's arms. "What's happened?"

Aziraphale has no idea how he manages to get out, "Lucifer blew up."

"He what? Like he shouted at someone?"

Aziraphale shakes his head a little too quickly, "No, like...a column of fire?"

The other angel gets more panicked at this, "What?", and when she really takes Aziraphale in, she shrieks, "Aziraphale, your robes!"

Right, his robes. Aziraphale looks down, and sure enough, they're covered in soot and scorch marks.

It didn't take long before the higher up angels determined that other than questioning Heaven's rules and order from time to time, Lucifer did not have a death wish, once discovering the only thing that burned up was Lucifer himself.

Most of the angels standing around him were unaffected by the blast Heavenly fire. And the only damage to be seen was the floor, and the robes, which looked burnt beyond recognition.

It wasn't right. Lucifer was just one of them.

It was also very disturbing.

After that, everyone in that group was taken to the authorities, and thoroughly interrogated.

When it was Aziraphale's turn, he was asked, "Did Lucifer say anything...about making a plan?"

Aziraphale is in no mood to comply, and says instead, "About setting himself on fire? Of course."

But seeing the higher up is making a note of that, Aziraphale folds, "Sorry. Just trying my hand at that human thing called humor."

The higher up, predictably, is not impressed.

After the interrogations finished, they were all ordered to remove their human corporations so they could be repaired.

Before Aziraphale hands his over, he asks, "Oh please tell me I can have my robe back."

The higher up stares at the robe in question, "You want it back?"

Even so, Aziraphale only let them fix where the fire reached the tips of his corporation's hair, but while they waited, they were all given the same blank corporation to wear.

That's where they all are now, in a silent room full of angels all wearing the exact same corporation. You couldn't even tell them apart by voice.

"Wonder how long it will be before humans discover the power of fire." one of them says, and despite himself, Aziraphale laughs at the very idea.

But the other angels aren't impressed, as they both stare at the one that first spoke and Aziraphale, even though there's no way to tell it's him.

Quickly, he changes the subject, "What do you suppose that was all about?"

"A flaw in Heaven's design?"

"How dare you! Heaven is perfect!"

"Look at the facts! One moment he was one of us, and now he's gone."

"It's not fair. He was so beautiful. I was going to Know him!"

Then Samael, an angel Aziraphale only knows due to his explosive personality, now snaps, "When do they plan to let us out of here?"

"When they know it won't happen again." Aziraphale pipes up, not realizing he said that out loud until he sees everyone's staring at him.

"What are you talking about? When what won't happen again?" Samael demands.

Aziraphale thought it would be obvious, but he still lifts his corporation's hands, wiggling his fingers to mimic flames.

The room falls dead silent, but even with a room full of blank bodied angels, it's clear that none of them had considered this.

Apparently neither had Samael, because very suddenly, Samael's corporation is lurching, then a moment later he's collapsing on the floor, shaking uncontrollably.

And, not-really-a-spoiler alert, it is going to happen again.

In fact, it's going to happen over and over again.