Ineffable

3 O' Clock in the Morning

“Hello, I’m Raguel. I appreciate the both of you coming in to talk to me.” The archangel addresses Aziraphale and Ariel not long after Arariel’s funeral.

“Allow me to be the first among the higher ups working on this issue to offer my condolences.”

Ariel nods, “Thank you.”, while Aziraphale attempts to be funny, “Well, suppose it was worse? We could be the Metatron. Or Sandalphon.”

Raguel, to his credit, permits himself a small chuckle, before just right out asking, “So, are you two making angels Fall?”

This throws them both for a second, before Ariel answers first, clearly confused, “Oh…no, I can’t say that we are.”

Aziraphale, however, sees right through what the archangel is actually asking, “Do you mean to tell me someone is doing this to us?”

Raguel answers honestly, “I believe we can safely say no on that. Unless God herself has someone hiding among you carrying out her orders.”

Ariel reminds him sternly, “Angels are Falling from Heaven. We can’t for sure say that’s not what is happening, can we?”

Raguel has a counter, “Only if you believe She would waste her time doing something that trivial.”

Aziraphale wants to throttle him for how dismissive he was, but thankfully Ariel answers first, “I don’t really know what is considered trivial anymore.”

Now Aziraphale has to ask, “Do you know why this is happening?”

Raguel sighs, “Not currently. But we’re all doing whatever we can to diagnose the issue.”

Neither of the lower ranking angels are satisfied with that answer, which prompts Raguel to add, “Or, that’s what I was led to believe before coming to talk to you.”

Aziraphale is not about to let that slide, “So you’re saying it’s going to keep happening, and there’s nothing any of us can do.”

“No I am not.” Raguel stops him from going any further. “I am saying if we’re going to stop this from happening, I need more help.”

Seeing he’s got their attention, Raguel clarifies, “There’s a lot of angels scared that they’ll be next. Yourselves included. And you’re all begging us for the same thing.”

Ariel asks, “Which would be what, exactly?”

“To stop you from being next.”

Finally, something they can agree on. As Aziraphale and Ariel nod in agreement, Aziraphale replies, “I would personally love to not be next.”

Raguel smiles, “I am relieved to hear that. And if that’s going to happen, I need something from you.”

Aziraphale shares a look with Ariel, then asks, “What do you need?”

“Earthly delights?” Hasdiel laughs out loud, as Zadkiel comes back out to join him and Aziraphale much later.

“Literally. Earthly delights.” Aziraphale confirms.

“So the archangels’ running theory is that the Earthly influence of its delights is what’s making us Fall?”

Aziraphale answers honestly, “I believe it’s less of a theory and more of a, ‘we’re driving ourselves mad trying to understand what’s going on and need to know for sure it’s not because of this’.”

“And you promise if we hand them over, the higher ups will never know they were from us?” Hasdiel asks.

Aziraphale rolls his eyes, “Hasdiel, in all the time we’ve known each other, have you ever known me to be a…bad angel?”