Chapter 36

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It's horrifying to be faced with the past. Emotions are quick to turn sour, thoughts and feelings are fast to freeze. Having your mind wander through your memories it's strange. You stare at the ceiling of your room struggling to sleep. When your mind wanders you choke yourself, you choke on tears and words you wish you said instead. Hindsight is a power that changes nothing. So you curse yourself, as everything burns down because of your own negligence. Yet you focus on the emotions you have currently and not the problem itself. It's common sense that solving the problem fixes the emotions.
N was left wondering and worrying. You hadn't shown back up to enjoy lunch together. He was left frantically searching for you. He scrambled to ask the people in the building. When people couldn't recall seeing you he became frantic. He searched rooms you frequented and then the ones he never checked. He looked down halls you never walked down.
The pale white light of the lab was on, the door was cracked open and light flooded into the otherwise dim hall. The door was opened with unnecessary force, a bang making your eyes open for only a moment. N stared on at the room, vines and mushrooms decorated the cabinets. The counters were lined with a blanket of moss and lichens. You slept on a bed of the same vibrant moss, Virizion still supporting your head.
"What happened?" N rushed to your side, his hands flying to your neck and face. He pressed his fingers against your neck with a held breath.
"They'll be fine," Virizion started, "the spores will only make them sick."
"Spores?"
Virizion nodded their head, they looked towards the mushroom of the hour. "It releases spores in at random. They make humans incredibly sick when inhaled." A bunch of camomiles blossomed from the ground beside N's knees. "Make tea with these, it should help."
N reached out with gentleness, pulling you safely into his arms. He carried you home, a bundle of Camomiles in his hand. Virizion met him at your door. They sat in the snow a few deerlings with them too. N offered to let the pokemon inside, but they refused. They stayed outside as doves perched atop their antlers. Well N wasn't sure if they qualified as antlers or horns. He was glad, however, having Virizion nearby comforted him greatly. They knew plants that N couldn't rival.
Your sleeping hand gripped his shirt when he went to pull you away from him. Your voice, a garbled scratchy sound came out in a soft whine. N laid you down with about as much grace as a tornado. He fumbled over himself and nearly let your sleeping body fall onto the floor. He tripped over the sheets that had fallen off the bed, giving him a beautiful blue bruise for you to see when you awoke.
You spent hours, though it felt like days, fading in and out of conciseness
The tea didn't have a strong smell. It didn't have too strong of a taste either. You spilled some of it across the front of your shirt. Your hands had felt numb when you woke. Your fingers didn't really feel like fingers. They felt like you had been out in a blizzard, with burning cold winds scratching at your cheeks. Your fingers and toes felt like rocks, you weren't too sure you could move them at first.
It made you feel tired, the subtle bitterness of the tea was nothing to make the pounding in your head go away. You laid there sprawled out in bed like a corpse. The blanket seemed too hot and too cold at the same time yet whenever you kicked it off you'd freeze as your brain pounded against your skull and you could hear your heartbeat echoing in your body. What a wonderful way to be spending your time.
You imagined that this is what it was like to be under the sleeping curses in those stories you heard. They always drew the princesses peacefully asleep, you didn't really understand it, the princess looked peaceful and at rest. You supposed that maybe it was just her, you wouldn't mind sleeping through it all, but she didn't. When you thought about it that way you guessed that it wouldn't have been so nice, she hadn't really been told of the curse, and that had made you upset.
Your tired brain flipped through the book on the bedside table. Your fingers trailed along the pictures. You stared with blank eyes and a blank mind at the wedding of the princess and her prince. You felt confused, you wondered about them, did they love each other?
N saw you reading it. Well, looking at it. He gently took the book away from your hands and he sat beside you so you could see the pages. You sipped the tea he gave you and you listened. You let his honey-coated words give the tea flavor. The sugar of the syllables stained your teeth. Your tongue was stained with caramel sentences.
N wondered about himself, he wondered what he wanted. He knew he wanted to stay beside you. He felt warmth when he met your eyes, his heart skipped a beat when you spoke his name. He let the heart that he hid shine. He realized that even years after his father he still hid. A small frail boy had hidden himself under the bed, and he was waiting for someone's warm arms to hold him when he crawled back out.

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