20. "Where is my husband?"

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Wei Ying

I am falling.

It hurts.

Everything hurts. Even breathing.

And I am falling.

I need to reach out and hold on to something. But I can't move even my fingers.

There's black and red everywhere.

I hear someone scream "Kill Wei Wu Xian."

As I am about to fall, I hear Jiang Cheng's voice yelling, "Wei Wu Xian, go to hell!"

I can't stop my tears.

I panic. I can feel my breaths getting rapid. I try my best to hold on to something.

I hear something screeching rapidly. Footsteps around me.  "What's going on? Why is the heartbeat accelerating?" one voice says. "How do we get it under control?" another asks. I can't figure out who those voices belong to. I haven't heard them before.

I am about to fall again. It's a cliff. In front of me is a huge dog. Behind me is certain death. I panic some more.

"Doctor, what's going on?" another voice. I know this one. Is that my Lan Zhan? Is he here? LAN ZHAN... HERE... SAVE ME... I yell in my head, but he can't hear me.

"Looks like the patient is having a nightmare or a panic attack. But he is not completely out of the coma. His brain is not in complete control of his muscles yet." that first voice says again.

"Please. Let me." I hear my Lan Zhan. I feel my hand in his. I recognize his touch, his warmth. His voice is next to my ear. "Shhh... Wei Ying, I am here... Come back to me, my Wei Ying. I am here. Your Lan Zhan is here. It's alright. You are safe. Now breathe with me, okay?" His fingers are caressing my face. His voice keeps reassuring me that my Lan Zhan is right here. He breaths and I breathe with him. I focus only on him, his voice, his touch, and his breathing. Slowly, I feel the screeching slow down, and then everything just fades out.

Lan Zhan, Yunnan, 8 days after Wei Ying's rescue

As I walk towards Wei Ying's room, I hear the machines beeping frantically. There is a young doctor and a nurse looking very worried.

"Doctor, what's going on?" I ask. I am worried about Wei Ying. I fear the worst.

"Looks like the patient is having a nightmare or a panic attack. But he is not completely out of the coma. His brain is not in control of his muscles yet." the doctor says. They almost look like they are not sure how to help him.

"Please. Let me." I request. I don't know why, but they let me. I get close to Wei Ying. I hold his hand gently. Leaning over, I get close to his ears and speak softly,  "Shhh... Wei Ying, I am here... Come back to me, my Wei Ying. I am here. Your Lan Zhan is here. It's alright. You are safe. Now breathe with me, okay?" I caress his face. I want my touches and my words to reach him. I want him to come to me. Slowly, but surely I feel him responding. His breathing evens out and the machines go back to their humdrum and timed beeping. I caress his face for some more time and just stay there, glad that I was able to comfort him.

I have completely forgotten about the doctor and the nurse in the room until one of them clears their throat. "Thank you, Captain Lan." the doctor says to me.

"Please don't say it. It is what I should do. Thanks for letting me take care of him. Can I make one more request?" I ask.

"Sure, go ahead, Captain," the doctor smiles.

"Is it alright if I lie down beside him on his bed tonight? I don't mind scrubbing and changing into your hospital clothes if that will make it safer for him." I tell them.

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