I've never felt like this before.
Never felt something this genuine.
We were at the mall,
we always hang out at the mall.
Every consecutive hang out,
I'd find that my attention would shift.
From the store to the mannequin.
From the mannequin to the clothes.
From the clothes to him.
From him to his eyes.
His eyes
His hair
His skin
His lips
His smile.
From his smile to his laugh.
The mall was boring,
but I didn't care.
As long as I was with him.
But God, I got so nervous.
Hands trembling nervous;
stomach churning nervous.
He was my best friend, and is my best friend.
Am I falling for him? Or am I just getting too comfortable?
I love being around him, but I get so nervous before meeting with him.
Maybe because I'm hiding.
Hiding these feelings.
Shoving them down my throat, and concealing them with a smile.
Yeah, I was comfortable with him,
but I wasn't comfortable with myself
feeling that way around him.
Because I'm hiding.
We sat next to each other after walking around for a long while.
Nervous.
I wanted to say something
I'd catch myself looking at him one too many times.
I never thought about how pretty he looked.
He looked so pretty.
His hands were at the edge of what we were sitting on.
I was staring at his hand.
My hand also at the edge, near his.
I continued staring, but I soon looked away.
It was so tempting, but I sighed,
sighed in defeat.
Defeat that my feelings wouldn't be reciprocated.
They aren't reciprocated.
I suddenly felt a warmth on the top of my hand.
I jumped a little,
in realization of how cold I had been.
My eyes darted to my hand,
two hands.
One over the other.
I stared an extra second or so,
my brain processing what I was seeing;
what I was feeling.
His hand, over mine.
His hand over mine.
It felt so warm.
Not just our hands, but my entire body.
I felt comfortable.
Comfortable with feeling this way
around him.
I smiled, peeling my eyes from our hands
and looking up at his.
His hazel eyes
His eyes of autumn leaves
His eyes that reassured me.
From the mall to him.
From him to his eyes.
His eyes
His hair
His skin
His lips
His smile.
From his smile to his laugh.
His nervous little laugh.
His trembling hand in mine.
Maybe we were both nervous.
But I'd rather be nervous with him,
than nervous alone.
