Dreams

Words Don't Matter Do They?

So this is the second chapter and I tried to explain the time I found out who Axl really is. But again, it is really metaphoric. Hope you enjoy it! Oh and, if I can find the prologue chapter I wrote, I'm going to post it as well. The story might be a little confusing now, sorry about that.

We spend our days together. I sometimes try to find out what he was doing here in this frozen plaze, and where he came from. But he only answers by giving me a kiss. So I stop questioning him, but deep inside I really wonder the answers. 

So, I decide to find out. One night, after he falls asleep, I get up. I wear the red jacket he was wearing when he first arrived, and I wear his cowboy boots, since there is nothing else for me to wear. I silently open the door, the strong and cold wind hits my face immediately. I force myself to get out, and I close the door behind me. 

As always, it is snowing. I start walking, but the wind keeps preventing me. I think of going back, then I change my mind. I really want to know the answers. So I do my best and manage to walk into the fog at least until I see some footprints. I find a bottle covered in snow. I pick it up and clean the snow with my cold hands. It says "Jack Daniels". I realize that it's empty, but I take it with me. And I start walking again, this time trembling from the cold. Then, I find a gun. I slowly pick it up. It is empty too. I put it in the pocket of the jacket and keep on walking.

Suddenly, a really strong wind comes from behind. It starts pushing me forward. I get scared that I will not be able to go back. But there is nothing I can do. I pull my hands inside my jacket and try to warm them up. The wind becomes faster and faster, it drags me as if I'm a leave that just fell from a tree. I feel so weak, and unprotected. The wind gets me away from Axl. And I feel quilty that I left him at home, without even telling him that I'm leaving. 

I see a cliff in front of me. This time I get really scared. Because the wind doesn't seem to stop, and it wildly drags me to the cliff. It gets faster and faster, I try to throw myself to the ground. It doesn't let me, and finally it drags me off the cliff. 

I close my eyes while I'm falling. Minutes pass, and then hours. I first think that the cliff is really deep. But I start getting warmer. I don't feel the cold anymore. So I decide to open my eyes. And when I do, I get shocked. I am sitting on the grass! I have already fallen, and didn't even realize. And I am safe and sound! There is no snow around, only beautiful trees and flowers. 

Suddenly, I see a man coming towards me. He has some papers in his hands. He bends over, hands me the papers. Then he turns his back and just leaves. Without any explanation. I look at the papers, the title says "Axl Rose". "Thank you." I whisper. I thank the wind that brought me here, I thank the grass that I fell onto, I thank the man who brought me these, and I thank the papers that have the information I wanted to learn

I look behind me and see a stairway. I take all the papers, stand up, and start walking upstairs. And I find myself in that cold, snowy, windy, isolated place again. The strong wind comes again, but this time, it drags me to the opposite site. Finally I'm home, again.

I open the door and get inside. I like how warm it is. Axl is still asleep. So I first take off the jacket and the cowboy boots. I put the gun and the bottle on a shelf. I bend down to Axl and kiss his jaw. He mumbles in his sleep and a small smile appears on his lips. I smile back, even though he doesn't see it. Then I sit near the fireplace with the papers in my hands. 

I start reading, with a smile on my face. But the smile slowly fades away while I'm reading, and it turns into a big frown. The melody comes again. This time I'm sick of it. After I finish reading everything about him, a tear spills from my eye. I take a glance at him, he looks so peaceful, so gentle, so beautiful. He is just like an angel. A snow angel... I don't want to believe what I read, but I know that it's all true. I just don't understand how a man like him can be the person that is been told about in the papers. I just don't want to believe. 

Something has died, I can feel it. With all the things I've read, something has died. 

So I take all my thanks back. I damn my curiosity, I damn the wind, I damn the grass, I damn that man, I damn the papers. I wish I haven't read them. But deep inside I know that I'm just trying to get away from the truth. I thought I really loved him, these papers killed it. One part of me still thinks of the times we had, and the other part regrets that I met him. 

I think I just needed to be warmer inside the house. But I can get used to live without it. I immediately decide to get him out of my heart, and my home. But I pause when what he said pops in my mind:

"Words don't matter, do they?" 

Words don't matter. The papers don't matter. The information doesn't matter. Only thing that matters is how he makes my heart, my home, and my life meaningful.