Chain of Memories

II

Adjustment wasn't an easy thing.

May mga bagay talaga na normal na nangyayari sa buhay ng tao. We can't spare ourselves from the pain of reality. In our world today, things are norm even those bad ones perhaps. I think of life as always an adjustment. Well, that is part of life.

In all part of life, kailangan din natin mag-adjust. The world revolves that way. When my world – my family perhaps started to mess out. The truth surfaced, I was badly hurt. Why would they lie to me in the first place? Matatanggap ko naman sana kung sinabi lang nila – if they explained, it won't be hard for me to digest that information. They were afraid that an ounce hurt me. Well it was, they don't save me from pain. I'm not prepared with those things. In a snap, bragging my peaceful life. Everything were too fast.

"Sigurado ka ba talaga sa gagawin mo?" kinakabahang sambit ni Lanie.

I sighed, and tap her shoulder. "Sigurado ako, don't worry. I need this, chill okay?" I blurted out humor, masyado siyang nag-aalala.

"Chill? You're asking me to chill. Kaia this is not the first time you planned this." Saying exasperatedly, I know it wasn't the first time.

"Magkaiba 'to Lan, I'm not doing this to rebel."

She looked at me, weighing what I'm really implying with. Isa pa hindi naman natuloy ang pag-alis ko noon. Well, barely fourteen, am not that dumb to do things without pondering. With realization, I think it helped me a lot.

"Sana nga lang tama ang ginagawa mo." She said sternly, not backing out. Eyeing me like a predator to its prey.

"It is. Don't worry, three days lang naman eh." Paliwanag ko. "Kasama ko naman siya." Hindi naman ako mawawala ng matagal. Three, three days enough for me to think.

"Isa pa 'yon eh, kinokosente ka pa talaga." Reklamo niya, hindi ko tuloy maiwasang matawa. I received a glare coming from her. "Saan na ba siya?"

"Paparating na siya."

"Mukhang wala na akong magagawa para magbago ang isip mo." Mababang tono na sambit ni Lanie, senyales na suko na sa pagpapayag sa'kin na magbago ng desisyon. I nod, this is the best way. A pregnant of silence surround us.

"Bad influence siya, alam mo ba iyon?" maya-mayang sambit niya sa'kin. "napaka-konsentidor niya."

"It's not – "cut me off.

"Huwag mo ng subukan na ipagtanggol siya Kaia. It won't change anything." Napailing nalang ako sa sinabi niya. I know Lanie felt threaten to that person. I do know the reason why.

There was no best way, nor saying applicable. I just want to unwind for some reason. Hindi naman kasi madali. Sa bawat problema, hindi ganoon kadaling maayos kung maraming gumugulo sa isip natin. We can't think clearly that it could lead to our own misconducts.

Things don't come easily, it brought a lesson or a piece of realization. One thing, we need to be prepared in each aspects which hereby come. Situation might have made our lives turn into sixty degrees, always remember life had trials. It taught us and let us see the truth. To be able for us to see the differences between the right and wrong which somehow resulted with our own choices.

Live a good fight. In life, there a lot of conflict. Hindi naman natin kailangan isa-isahin 'yon. We cannot tell what kind will pass by, what we can do is to prepare ourselves to all the possibilities.

In terms of my experiences, I was being taught a various lesson. Forgiveness, acceptance and there – the adjustment. Adjustment. Ano nga ba ang salitang 'yan? Marami, maraming bagay ang hindi ko inaakalang matutunanan ko. That somehow I could. Moving forward with the bravery. Adjustment really made my being as a whole.

Adjustment is something. A process of growing up – of maturity. I remember those words coming from that person.

"Adjustment is a process. Like the butterfly when they are in the stage of metamorphosis."

Napakunot naman ako ng noo sa sinabi niya, we were in my grandma's garden. "Connect?"

"You really like to play with thoughts are you?"

I give him a look. "What? Simply answer me will you?"

"Such a bossy." Napailing iling naman niyang sambit. "Before a caterpillar become a butterfly they need to go in the process called metamorphosis. Like them we need to go in the process...and that is adjustment."

"And?"

"And our own metamorphosis is adjustment. Adjustment means our awareness to adopt and work things out in this world level with inequalities." Paliwanag pa niya. "Lahat ng tao nag-aadjust walang pinipili."

Doon ko napagtanto na we adjust simply because we became aware with the situation we are in. Awareness means learning. It wasn't a childish act. Habang lumalaki tayo ay marami tayong natutunan sa buhay. A child can't really ponder eventually about things, there is limit; different approached when we are growing up. Our knowledge heightened and a lot of thing basically in our understanding. It is important to adjust. For us be able to adopt easily we need adjustments. Mahirap kasi iyong basta ka nalang mag-adopt na kalaunan ay hindi mo din naintindihan o kaya hindi mo alam kung anong sirkumstansiya. In the end hindi din magwo-work out. Kapag nasa proseso ka ng adjustment, matutuhan mong tingnan ang sitawasyon o bagay sa produktibong paraan. You will be aware of differences, and you could cater those better.

By adjustment nagiging malawak pa ang pananaw natin. Mas madali nating matutunan at panindigan ang mga ito. All of us have our own outlook. Those outlooks describe who and what kind of person we are. Simply reinitialize things according to the needs or priorities. Hindi man natin masasabing tama ang desisyon na meron tayo at ang epekto nito. Yet we can easily cater the arising issue.

As for adopt, not all things are subject to. Hindi lahat na nakikita o nao-obserbahan natin sa paligid ay pwede nating ma-adopt. Some things aren't subject for, the fact that we are already aware of the result. Yes, adopting isn't bad, yet we should be wiser.

Sa punto ng buhay, hindi lahat ay mabuti. Hindi ibig sabihin na nakikita natin sa iba ay mabuti. Simply, it trends among vast of people ay pwede na din nating gawin. In my twenty-seven years. One realization I know, no it isn't, trends may give positive proposal still it won't last that way. It always good to be wiser especially with the choices and decision we will make. Hindi naman kasi ang ibang tao ang magdedesisyon para sa'yo, kundi ikaw mismo. Guidance and to remind you, 'yan lang ang mabibigay ng mga taong nasa paligid mo. They can never hold you, your mind and choices. They won't be responsible of your actions – it's you, who will face those turmoil and consequences.

Adjustment wider our knowledge and outlook. Then adopting will be worth than you think of.