Kisses in the shadows

Chapter 11 - a facade?

Tw :)

Thalia potter was no ordinary girl, not because she was the brother of a famous golden boy but because of her memories.

Her memories.

Her happy ones and the ones she felt safe in.

The ones that scared her and made her angry.

The ones she never dared step foot in again.

That's until the night of the 14th of October.

The night she took a deep spindle into her memories.

The night were she remembered.

It was genuinely heartbreaking that Ezra kade was Thalia's savour, the biggest part of her life, and as quick as it started he was her worst nightmare.

Her most terrifying memory.

She was once asked 'why are you so strong?'

And she simply answered with 'because I walk around everyday on the verge of tears and none of you take any absolute time to ask if I am okay.'

Because she wasn't, she never was, was she too young to feel so, so horrible and numb?

When Ezra first laid a hand on her all she could think was 'why did all the butterflies die?'

Where did they go?

Why did they fly away?

Why were they replaced with daggers? And ropes? Tightening and stabbing when he was near.

She could never look at him the same ever again.

Most of the time she thought it was because of love.

Love.

The most foul thing she could have ever heard of.

Was it because she was scared that she would fall inlove with the monster of her story's over and over again?

Was she scared that she was going to be told the endless lie 'I'm not going to hurt you' over and over again?

Was it because for that person she adored turned into a monster?

Was it because of him that he was her whole book, and for him she was a sentence?

Was it because even Remus hated the word, he himself had fallen inlove with a girl called Gwen, who died, leaving him in loss and heartbreak.

See for Thalia, love was a lie she could effortlessly be told.

No matter how much the person ment it, the words never truly sunk in.

They would always fly around her head, twisting and pulling at her brain, turning people she loved into people she should be afraid and scared of.

She would never truly tell someone this.

Never with a smile.

Never happy, only with anger and disbelief.

She couldn't trust anyone, not even Remus, or Delphini or her own brother.

Thalia could never love someone.

Not again.

Never without a doubt.

She was frightened.

Because for once she felt like she loved someone/s

She would never know that the person she was falling for will be the one to kill her.

Be the one to drive a dagger through her pumping heart.

She was an artist.

She could paint her memories, the rub them out and burn them away.

She would paint smiles on everyone but her own.

Did she feel numb?

Was this all a way of covering up her feelings?

'You did this to me Ezra.

You slashed the broken glass across my eye and you laughed.'

'I didn't do anything to you.'

It was his fault that she had a slash across her eye.

It was HIS fault.

But deep down she thought it was hers.

She blamed herself for his faults.

Everything he did.

The bruises the scars that littered her entire body.

The scars she would cover up and hide.

The scars he made imprinted into her body.

The memories he left her with.

The PAIN HE caused.

She thought it was her fault.

She thought she imagined all of it.

But she didn't.

She didn't dream of being held captive in a dungeon because she ignored him once.

She didn't dream of him pushing her and pulling her down the stairs.

She didn't dream of him touching her and doing things to her.

No because who would dream up and lie about those things.

Because sometimes the person you would take a bullet for is the one behind the gun.

Because even after the gunman denies it over and over again, the victim starts to believe that it was there fault.

Her biggest mistake was making everyone else a priority and her the second choice.

when in reality she should have been, the priority and them the second choice.

She always thought to herself, do not fall in love with people like me

The broken people.

The people that couldn't be fixed.

The wrecks a construction worker would deem unfixable, chuck away and be put in a box, never too be looked or glanced at again.

She was the girl that you would just glance at then look away and never glance at again.

The ones that would escape real life in books.

What Thalia didn't know what the there was going to be a ball.

A Halloween ball.

And the golden flower will come.

Everyday she would wonder what if it was all a dream? What if one day I wake up and this isn't real.

Like a different reality?

What if she wasn't real what if she was just another page in a book?

What if we aren't real?

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