Blood Streams / Dabi x Reader

25

„Why did you do that?“
Shigaraki asked with a confused chuckle.
„I'm utterly sorry... It's not what you think.“
A shiver went through your body.
You tried to get up, but Shigaraki grabbed your waist and pulled you down again.
„Y/n, I'd like to know why you did that.“
He said and made you look into his eyes.
„I must apologize. It's nothing like it seems. I simply wasn't thinking. It was.... Meaningless...“
You sighted and looked down.
„Nobody kisses anyone without a meaning.“
He said in a seductive tone.
You considered what you should tell him now.
'What should I tell him even if I don't know the real reason?'
You got up from his lap and walked towards the door frame to meet the spot where Dabi stood minutes ago.
You turned around and faced Shigaraki.
„I'm sorry if I did anything wrong or made the situation awkward in any kind of way or even gave you the wrong impression.“
You looked to the ground.
„My brain stopped functioning because I was overwhelmed by the fact that.... Dabi committed himself to a ridiculous whore.“
In the end your voice got quiter.
„So it was all because of the jealously you felt in that moment.“
Shigaraki whispered.
As you looked up, you noticed that he had turned around to the monitor again and continued playing his game.
„I forgive you y/n.“
He mumbled into the silence.
„Thank you.“
„Still, I can't deny that this kind of physical touch felt very new, but also very special to me.“
'To me too...'
You thought and looked down again.

Time skippp

It was night time and you and Toga were on the roof, stargazing together.
„Dabi said that you kissed Shiggy... You never mentioned that you had feelings for our boss.“
Toga sighted.
You sensed her disappointment, but at the same time, you couldn't believe that she really believed in that.
„It's not what you think it is.“
You looked away from the night sky.
„Huh? What do you mean? You didn't hide anything from me and you are also not in love with chappy lip dude?“
She asked and looked at you.
You shook your head.
„It might be... That I....“
You struggled to speak out these words but it was time, that you finally stopped lying to yourself and everyone around you and accepted the truth and nothing but the truth.
„I kissed him because out of jealousy.“
It was silent for a moment.
„Wait? Sorry but I don't really get it.. Did you kiss him, because you were jealous? Or did you kiss him to make someone else jealous?“
Toga scratched the back of her head.
You clenched your hands and took a deep breath.
„I WAS JEALOUS, JEALOUS AS FUCK TO BE A LITTLE BIT MORE PRECISE!"
It just came out like that and there was no was no clear point for this word vomit to stop.
„I WAS SO JEALOUS WHEN YURIKO KISSED DABI, I ALMOST COULDN'T BREATHE BECAUSE I WAS SO JEALOUS! AND NOW SHE'S HIS GODDAMN GIRLFRIEND AND I CAN DO NOTHING, FUCKING NOTHING, TO MAKE THIS HORRIBLE FEELING GO AWAY! AND I JUST FELT LIKE I NEEDED TO DO SOMETHING TO PROOF TO DABI THAT I DON'T RELY ON HIS FEELINGS TOWARDS ME, SO I KISSED SHIGARAKI, MAYBE ALSO IN HOPES TO MAKE HIM AS JEALOUS AS I WAS IN THAT MOMENT, EVEN IF I KNEW THAT THERE WAS NO WAY THAT THIS COULD WORK! AND ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I REGRET EVERYTHING SO FUCKING MUCH! THAT I KISSED SHIGARAKI, THAT I WAS SO STUPID AND DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE WHAT I WAS FEELING THE WHOLE TIME AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THAT I ALWAYS ACTED LIKE I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT DABI AND LIED TO MYSELF BY TELLING ME, THAT HE DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME, AT LEAST NOT IN A ROMANTIC WAY! AND NOW EVERYTHING IS WAY TOO LATE BECAUSE HE GOT YURIKO NOW AND WILL NEVER DARE TO LOOK AT ME IN ANOTHER WAY THAN A GOOD FRIEND WHO IS NOT AS ANNOYING AS TWICE EVER AGAIN!“
You heavily gasped to get new air inside your lungs again.
Toga just sat there, her eyes widely opened, just staring at you as if you had just found a cure to jealousy itself.
A shiver went through your body and small tears formed in the corners of your eyes.
„I didn't take my chance and now my time is up.“
You wiped your eyes and looked at Toga.
„I-I- y/n-chan...“
She wanted to say something, but the right words just wouldn't come out.
She lowered the finger she had been pointing at you with seconds ago and remained silent.
You nodded.
„You don't have to respond anything. I just said some things that needed to be said.“
You lifted yourself up and walked towards the edge of the roof. There was an antenna. You grabbed it with your right hand and leaned forward.
A soft breeze blew through your hair. The fresh air smelled very nice, nicer like you remembered.
In that moment you just felt the deep regret on how you never even thought of taking your chance.
'I thought I could never catch feelings for anyone and especially not for a person who I thought was a fuck boy all along. I mean, I wasn't wrong tho... At first when I got into the league he regularly had different girls over, but then... It kinda all stopped? Yes it did, I'm not wrong.'
You sank deeper and deeper into your thoughts.
„Y/n-chan? Hello? Y/n-chan?“
Toga pulled on your arm to get you back to reality.
„Y/n-chan? What are you doing?“
She asked with visible concern.
„I- I don't know. I also don't know what I'm supposed to do now. I've clearly missed my chance, but it felt good to let everything out now.“
You confessed.
„No matter what it is, I'll be by your side.“
Toga said and gave you a long hug.
„And I'm pretty sure that we'll find a good way to fix things, even if it means to electrocute a stupid bitch.“

Hey guys, don't mind me dropping some mental health stuff at the end of the chapter but lately I've been dealing with a lot of stress and bad anxiety and I've also not been able to write a lot.
Usually I have three to four chapters in my drafts and currently it's only two. And we'll, this is the second one, that means the first one already came out on Sunday.
I don't know if I'm able to hold my schedule with two uploades a week, but I hope so.
I just wanted y'all to be aware of that.
Maybe I've also written some new chapters until then, I guess you'll never know at the beginning...
Wow that was a lot to say at the end of a chapter and definitely waaaaay more than usual.
Hope you still took your time to read this until the end, love y'all so much <3
Author-Chan ~