The man with the gloves [bucky barnes ff]

74

Bucky's POV

"Okay, what is going on?" Leah interrupts my thoughts. "I've been trying to talk to you for around ten minutes now and all you do is say 'yes' or 'huh?'. I am worried. Is everything okay?"

I am terrible at confrontations. I've been avoiding this conversation for days but it's time. I know that I fucked up all my chances with Isla but she is right. I need to be honest with Leah. "I need to talk to you."

"Talk? As in a conversation between two people? That's new." She laughs and sits down in front of me. I didn't want to ask her to meet me outside of work hours so she wouldn't get the wrong idea so I stopped by after therapy. There are only two customers, one student who's typing something in his laptop and one guy in a suit, drinking coffee and yelling at his phone. "What's up?"

"It's about us." I shift in my seat. I really don't want to do this. "Listen, I think you're amazing. You're a great girl and I had a lot of fun with you last week and-"

"I had fun, too, Bucky."

I hate how my name sounds out of her mouth. I just want to hear one girl call me that. But sadly that one girl can't even stand to be in the same room with me. "I don't want to make things awkward between us but I can't see you again."

Her smile falls. "What?"

"I know you met my ex and I have no clue what she told you but our break up was kind of... messy, I think. And we have been apart for months so I thought that I was over her which is why I asked you out in the first place but-"

"But you're not. Over her." Leah finishes my sentence. I can't make much of her expression. She looks mad but her tone sounds calm. Should I be concerned?

This is my fault. Entirely my fault. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to ask her on a date. Sure, I let Mr. Nakajima talk me into it but I could've said no. I think I was just trying to prove myself that I was over her or maybe I thought that dating Leah would help me get over Isla.

Isla. God, Isla. Seeing her the other day already broke me but when she stood in front of me, so close and only a few steps away, and started telling me about everything I made her go through, I was about to fucking die. I wanted to die. I wanted to kiss her, apologise over and over again, then hurt myself for hurting her. I knew she'd be heartbroken. I knew I'd make her suffer when I decided to leave but I hoped that she'd eventually learn to cope and get over it.

But in a way I think she did get over me. With that guy from the bar. I knew that she was... getting around when I heard Sam and Gen talking on the phone the other day. I think they were spending their summer break in California and according to the bits of pieces I heard, Isla was sleeping around with other guys. I didn't believe it at first. My Isla wouldn't do it. But then I realised that she wasn't my Isla anymore and that she changed. Because of me. I turned her into this.

But fucking shit the thought of someone else laying his hands on her makes me furious. I want to cut off the hands off everyone who touches her and rip out the eyes of every guy who looks at her.

I am batshit crazy. I officially lost my mind. For real this time. And I can't even blame her because she's single. She's not with me so she has no obligations to stay loyal whatsoever but it still hurts.

"Why did you ask me out then?"

"I really like you, Leah. I thought maybe I'd like you in that way, too." I admit. She doesn't look at me anymore. Her eyes are glued to the glass in her hand that she was drying with a towel a few seconds ago.

"It's okay." She says after a while and looks up, smiling. "It's... I mean it, it's okay. Don't worry about it."

"Leah."