Little League (Byler)

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(Note: I felt like these lyrics suited this chapter better sooo AKA, "Bigmouth
Bigmouth
Bigmouth strikes again
And I've got no right to take my place
To the Human race" Bigmouth Strikes Again, The Smiths. )

Mike wheeler felt like scum of the sole of a shoe. That scrappy piece of mold in the corner of the shower that just kind of stared at you while you wash.
He felt like shit.
And he deserved to feel like shit. He deserved to because that what he was, a little piece of shit.
In that moment all he wanted to do was to snake his arms around Will and hug him with countless slurred paragraphs of apologies. But he didn't get that privilege. He was just one of those homophobes at school, thats what he was. And he didn't even mean to be, he just screwed up. Like he always did. It was just a Mike thing to do. Screwing up was such a Mike thing to do. His stupid words. His stupid, shitty words that he just had to bring out all because he was jealous of Will not wanting to talk to him, but rather(most likely) somebody else. Because nobody could keep all that bottled up inside one five foot six teenage boy.. right? Not even Will, sweet, lovable, friendly, adorable, beautiful Will.

Mike didn't deserve Will. Byers was too good for him, and maybe that why he got upset when the kid didn't announce his (obvious) crush. Maybe he assumed that if Will got set up with someone else, he could trick himself into falling in love with El.
But all he ended up doing was running the boy off with a shattered mess of a heart. The boy he wanted nothing more than to hold close and smooch repeatedly. Well, Mike screwed that idea up.
His clammy hand clutched the Byers house phone and anxiously dialed Dustin's number. He gulped as the loud vibrations rang in his ear.
"Mrs. Byers?" A lisped voice sounded through the speaker and Mike sighed in relief as he recognized it was not Will. He wasn't entirely sure what to say, so Dustin would be a good start. He thought at least.
"Look, Will's at my house tonight. I know you're probably worried and stuff but something happened with him and Mike so he's with me. But don't worry he's safe!"
More guilt fell on his shoulders. Of course Will had told Dustin, why wouldn't he have? For a second there was a tiny sniffle in the background that immediately made his heart sink. Byers.
"Umm, no it's uh.. it's actually me, Mike." Wheeler anxiously pronounced with struggle, his voice stumbled through the line.
"Dude, if you're here to apologize or some shit.. just don't. He doesn't want to hear it right now." Dustin sounded exasperated but sturdy. He was confident in agreeing with Will. Obviously, it made sense.
"I- uh- I understand. Will you just tell him I know how shitty I was and I didn't mean a word I said. It was stupid and childish of me to be that sucky, I deserve to be ignored. So uh, just tell him I called please. And that I miss him and care about him. P-please, if you can."
"Bye Mike."
He sighed, but he knew that he deserved the crappy response. He was aware. Oblivious Mike wasn't entirely oblivious sometimes.
"Night Dustin... g'night Will." And then the line cut off, Will's gentle background whimpers and sniffles dropping out with it. He suddenly felt so alone. So incredibly alone that he wrapped his arms around himself and hid behind the collar of his shirt.
The phone made its way back into the walls grip, wires coiled vertically. Tears filled the gaps in between his eyelids, sealing them shut with a duct tape like blur folding over his view.
Why did this hurt so much?
He was the problem, not Will. Why did he feel so heartbroken then? Those tears clumped his perfect eyelashes together. God, he just wanted Will to be there then, holding onto him as he begged for forgiveness. He wanted Will to know he didn't mean the shit he said. He didn't mean it. He thought so purely of his best friend, it was just an act of stupid aggression and Mike-like jealousy. He collapsed onto the sighing bed, his stupid sheets that he had wasted so much time making out with El on.
Maybe if he hadn't wasted that time, Will would still be close. Maybe cuddling into him and spooning him with that cute little haircut pressed into his shirt. And it would smell like Will on the sheets, not stupid El's waffles and sickeningly sweet maple syrup. And he wouldn't have to sit there missing those soft little hugs his best friend gave him.
But no, this had to be a phase.
Because soon Mike would realize that Will was just a cute boy he happened to be friends with and that Eleven Hopper was his true love, right? Right? This was temporary.
It had to be.
He never felt this way about his girlfriend and they had been dating for around a year, therefore this was not real and Mike would get over the idea of twirling his fingers in Byers caramel locks, of grabbing the boy by the waste and spinning him around the room with cringy romantic music blaring from that boom box and giving him tiny pecks all over his perfect face, of  cuddling up with him at night in pajamas and giggling at stupid sleep-deprived jokes they would make.
But that was platonic, because it had to be!
And that was besides the point because even if he did have a crush on Will, they would never able to be together anyway. Will hated him, and Mike fully understood why.
It was justified.
And he just had to fully grasp that he'd never get to see what Wills face looked so close to him, he'd never get to feel tiny breaths on his cheek as they kissed, they'd never get to know how soft Wills lips actually were.

But he didn't like him anyway, so that was fine. He'd be fine. Will would be fine and they'd all get back to normal soon enough. Besides, El was really pretty.. and a good kisser. That was a benefit, (not that he had actually enjoyed any of their kisses recently..) she had those wide doe eyes that flickered with curiously and her hands were small compared to his which lots of people saw as a couple thing? So it had to count.
Obviously.
He'd get over this whole 'I want to kiss Will' phase and go flying back to his girlfriend soon enough.
...
Yeah he would.
He had to.
Mike was straight and this was just stupid hormones.
They weren't even talking.
He hurt Will.
He hurt Will.
Something he vowed to never do.
Mike Wheeler hurt Will.
***
Authors Note- Mikes self pity chapter ☺️
It kinda hard to make him REMOTELY likeable. Like, the man screwed up. But I'm trying to make this whole plot line up so pity is to be expected. Lots of pity and internal monologues. I specialize at that 👍
Who needs love poems and flowers for Valentine's Day, I much prefer heartbreak stories and crying myself to sleep at night.

Words- 1221