Outlander: Found on the Path of Life. Part 1

Chapter 15. Ice and Fire

Contrary to Kakashi's expectations, after the separation, their relationship with Arina seemed to have somehow coated with ice. The girl did not exactly avoid him, but at the same time clearly behaved much more restrained and detached than before.

Even the nights which he had special hopes for did not bring the desired result. They still spent the nights together, however Arina consistently fell asleep with her back to him, and, although she allowed him to hug her, from that very night she no longer slept so cosily and fondly on his shoulder, but instead often even pulled away completely and slept separately.

Kakashi did not want to pressure the girl or, more so, openly harass her. The only time he allowed himself such an attempt — after that ill-fated dinner — she reacted to him, ready to pull off his mask, in such a way that it sobered him up in an instant. Therefore, he was content with little, explaining her mood with the general uncertainty, and — to be fair — the fact that her situation was still complicated.

A couple of times he witnessed her wiping her eyes when she thought he wasn't looking. He knew that she missed her family, friends, home and her normal life. It tormented him, but at the same time it was as if something was holding him back, and he just could not bring himself to talk to her about it.

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The very next day after her return, Arina began going to the Academy — to attend general lectures to begin with, although Kakashi was still strongly against her meddling in this matter. In her free time, the girl wangled into the local library, where she read with enviable persistence about the history, geographical and political structure of this world. Kakashi did not fully understand her eagerness — it seemed as if she was in a hurry for some reason — but he had nothing to reproach her with: he himself was constantly gone training or on missions with his mentees, so he could only be glad that Arina found something to her liking and was not particularly bored in his absence.

They did, however, spend the morning hours together — after Kakashi's usual workout at dawn. During this time, Kakashi always prepared a splendid breakfast, though Arina soon asked to be his student and eventually began assisting the cooking process quite successfully. They also had evenings at their disposal, when they went out together. At these moments, it seemed that everything was fine between them. However, at night Arina invariably turned away to the window, leaving Kakashi more and more puzzled.

The particular absurdity of the situation was that it was obviously much easier for him to be familiar with her back when he had not yet thought about her seriously, than now, when he realized that she was not just a fling for him. Having never complained about his own hesitancy before, it was very unpleasant for him to discover such a trait in himself.

The final break in their relationship occurred on the day when Arina could not hold back any longer and shared her impressions of studying at the Academy, and, in particular, her individual training with Iruka. Before that, she intuitively tried avoiding this subject, but at that time she was just beginning to feel her chakra, and could not restrain emotions from these new and unusual sensations for her — her first small success.

Kakashi made another attempt to convince Arina to abandon her studies, but, once more facing a decisive rebuff, he finally, in the heat of the moment, threatened that he would otherwise be forced to re-seal her abilities. He himself was very much ashamed of this outburst later, but at that moment it was mere jealousy that mixed in with the concern about the girl. Jealousy, which he had no right for in any case. And yet, it was clearly a belated reaction to the fact that earlier that day he saw her and Iruka chatting leisurely. Though back at that moment it seemed to him that he preserved his composure just perfectly.