Miracle in Summer [HaruKyu FF]

Chapter 15

Junkyu stood stiffly facing a mirror, observing his own reflection in dismay. It was dead of night and the-long-idle nightmare had woken him up an hour ago. He was dressed in only a white bathrobe, very carelessly tied, allowing one bare shoulder slip through the fabric as the robes slightly dropped down.

His grotesque scar across his neck was visible to his eyes, yet it didn't bother him. Ever since Haruto told him about his accident, he decided to not ponder over what eyes could see. It's not as if Haruto could see him, right? But Haruto definitely could hear him, and so bringing back his voice should be his main concern.

He was so determined to be able to speak again, but the truth was, it wasn't easy. It has never been easy. Even the thought of him saying something out loud had burned his throat and made his stomach turn with nausea.

He tried, anytime he had chances to put some distance with Haruto, anytime the younger wouldn't catch his distress. Like tonight, when Haruto was sleeping soundly and Junkyu could sneak out of the bed.

The result was always the same. He tried, he emptied his stomach into the toilet, he brushed his teeth, and tried again. The whole thing of speaking felt like an impossible task. He couldn't seem to make himself talk, and he felt stupid for trying.

He opened his mouth for the umpteenth time. He pushed air through his lung and up to his throat, trying to make a sound out of it. But there was nothing other than the pain on his throat and the urge to empty his stomach into the toilet, again. He wore a bathrobe for a reason. He was tired of changing his wet clothes every time he threw up and brushed his teeth.

He was tired, exhausted, yet he refused to give up. But as a mere human, he had his limit.

Raking his fingers through his hair, he let out a frustrated noise as he fell on his knees. He felt weak, useless and.. helpless.

Just a syllable! A fucking syllable! —he cursed in his mind, banging his fists against the floor desperately. Oh how he wanted to curse at himself aloud.

Frustrated tears started to build up in his eyes. He hated how he couldn't force himself to get his words out. It has been three days since he found out his voice could make Haruto feel better. He had tried for three days and he was absolutely no further than he had been at the start.

"Hyung?" Haruto voiced out. The sound Junkyu made woke him up.

He jumped out of the bed after noticing his hyung wasn't there next to him. "Hyung, where are you?" He asked as he moved his head around, trying to catch any noises.

Another sound of fists against the marble floor was his sign and it guided him towards Junkyu. "Hyung.. Love.." He spoke quietly.

He crouched down when he found his lover on the floor. His hand carefully skimmed the air until it reached Junkyu's back. "Hey, are you okay?" He asked in a worried voice as he felt Junkyu was trembling hard.

I'm not.

Two words. Two short words. It should be simple, yet he couldn't say it.

He opened his lips nonetheless, hoping to squeeze out any sort of noise. Anything to let Haruto know what was going on. But it only made him feel sick and he hated it.

Haruto could sense Junkyu was in distraught. It was the same feeling he had when he met Junkyu early days at the beach. He felt strong hatred. He felt the overwhelming heavy presence that was once terrified him. He immediately set himself on the floor and hauled Junkyu into his hug.

He wrapped Junkyu's head with his arms, engulfed him deeper to his chest, stroking his hair and rubbing his back tenderly as he whispered sweet nothings to his ear. Again, it reminded him how he did the same thing at the beach.