Little Miss Piggie

Hefty Honeymoon

The wedding was beautiful. I stood at the alter an extremely overweight 525 pounds. I just couldn't stop fucking eating. I overdid it. I have no idea how I put on so much weight in so little time...well, the cannabis, the bipolar meds, my love of sweets and fried food...and pizza, being tired..being lazy...being stoned...the perfect combination for producing astonishing results. 

My mother fainted when she caught sight of me at the altar. My dress was disgustingly tight. It shows every roll, bulge and inch of cottage cheese on my body. My upper arms looked like pillows and my forearms had started to get fat. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wide-I mean wife?" We both smile. "I do." And you take her to be your, what did you ask for?" He looks down at the paper. "Eternal encourager?" "I do." I now pronounce you two...

With a complete license to eat and unlimited buffets of every possible type on the cruise, it would have been impossible for me to not gain even more weight. 

My nutritionist saw the latest photoshoot. This time I'm dressed as a fat island girl. The neck necklace cuts into my fattening neck. My breasts are barely contained by the coconut bra, not to mention the grass skirt was overloaded by my lower stomach. I'm drinking some sort of tropical drink to cool. "I hope that you know that you're my heaviest patient." "That's great to hear! And I intend to keep always being your heaviest patient." "Still determined to gain weight are you? Well, alright, I'll see you in six months for a check-up." At 535 pounds, I was considering myself as just starting to fill out. I wonder what her scale will say when I get on it six months from now. I hope it's a big, round number. 

Making my way into the office takes me a little while, after that honeymoon and the excess poundage I managed to pack on during it, it took me longer than usual to get up and through the office door. The co-workers who were at my wedding gasped in shock when they see me. The button-up shirt I have on it stretched so tight, there were diamond areas where my lard was starting to stretch through the gaps. I hadn't worn dress pants in forever, but I'd managed to wiggle into them with the help of my feeder-wife. I think I heard the seams groan as I plopped down on the bench outside the HR department.

"I've gotten too big to work here in the office." "I'll say. I'd say you're the heaviest employee we've ever had here. You're not the first to work from home though; usually, it's injury or a type of illness. Is this through illness? I'm sorry, I don't mean to ask. "No, it's about body positivity, food, sexuality, body aesthetics, stuff like that." "So you've eaten yourself to this jumbo size on purpose?" "Yes." She stamps a form and hands it to me. "You're all approved to work from home." My co-workers who've hung around to eavesdrop on the conversation congratulate me on another milestone. "You think you'll even be able to fit through the doorway the next time they call you in to the office?" 

"Truthfully, I hope not. I have bigger goals you know. The bigger I get, the more people adore me. They love my body, I get more and more confident. I don't regret the decision to gain weight. I promise to keep my work up to my current standards. I will give notice about my medical appointments. I have diabetes and high blood pressure so I need to have my check-ups, you know." She bites her lip. "Do you have something that you want to say?" "I don't know if I should." "It's okay, you can ask me. I won't be upset." "Well...are you happy? Do you mind having those health problems? Aren't you concerned about your heart?" "Well, that's why I go to the doctor. I take the medications and stuff. We all have a price to pay to have our dream bodies. This is mine. You chose chocolate. And that's okay." 

"How much are you weighing these days?" "About 560 pounds." "You're the fattest person I've ever met. Officially." I pat my belly, enjoying the wobbling of my newly added poundage. "I'm going to keep that a true statement."