Very Truly Yours, Simone

4. the accident in the rain

Perhaps the things the novels told her about were true. That it was not love if you did not long for that person after some time of being apart. Simone wondered if her affection for Daniel Cavendish was just a passing thing. Like that first time she wanted the gold ribbon for her hair but their governess convinced her it would not become her. When she insisted, the woman had said, "Very well. Let us wait a fortnight. If you still want it, we shall procure it." As it happened, two weeks passed and the ribbon was completely out of her mind.

And as her interest in their new neighbor waned, and as his side of the villa remained quiet, Simone grew fond of other things. One of them was designing dresses. She did not have a gift for painting like Lydia, but she found she could deal better with charcoal on paper. And with Pauline's help, she was able to design her first dress, which impressed Mrs. Baker. Soon, she was also designing a dress for Lydia and the two girls.

They were not perfect, of course, simple as they were. But she wanted to learn more. Thus, she spent more time in the bazaar and with Pauline and Mrs. Baker. Most of the time, Lydia would come with her, carrying her own drawing book. And they found that Pauline's gossips were entertaining if not harmless. It was not like the ones the servants would whisper about. It was always about something interesting and fun.

But as the days passed, and as she finished all the books, as she learned more about dress designing and the latest fashion, Simone grew mellow. Even the thought of Daniel Cavendish could not make her smile. She could not even remember his play. What remained was the memory of his talent, his act.

She was missing her brothers. This must be the longest she had not seen all three of them. Would this be their life from now on? Web had started to engage more in their shipping business, the one he inherited after their parent's passing. Since last year, their father's trusted advisers said that it was time for him to learn the business. To make matters worse for Simone, Web wanted to learn with Damon and Price. The more the better, he said. The earlier the better, he added when Price whined about it.

That was before this season and that was when they were still in Abberton. Back home, she did not feel their absence as much because there was always interesting happening in the estate. They had friends they called on to, or called on them. There were always activities in the nearest village, and there were acres and acres of land to explore.

Not here in Picadilly, where the house was too small, the sounds became noises, the days interesting only for those who could attend balls and enter the theaters. Never for young girls who could not do more.

One particular evening was especially lonely. Lydia, who would often come and sleep in her room, was immersed in finishing their grandfather's portrait. Ever since that day he reminded them that he was dying, Lydia became obsessed with it. The children were with their nanny, the woman particularly strict about their bedtime. And Gale was out with his friends (or so he said) and he was a man now (or so he claimed) and he was enjoying the balls and the ladies (or so he boasted). Their grandfather was a good company, and she stayed with him in his bedchamber until he fell asleep while she massaged his feet. After kissing him goodnight, she crept into her room and sighed when she found Daniel Cavendish's window closed.

Rain started to pour outside. She walked over to close the windows and her tears just flowed. All of a sudden she just remembered her parents, their kisses when they said goodbye that last sunny afternoon she saw them. She had begged to come along but they said they were going away with her aunts and uncles and it would be boring for young children. "We will be back," her father had promised. They all never came back.

The pain in her chest had never eased in four years. It was always as fresh as the day she realized she would never be seeing them again. That they would never see her get married. Or her brothers.