Lullaby For The Ashes (Del Gallego Series #3)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14: First

"Why don't you just file an annulment, Dad?"

Bumuntong hininga siya nang marinig iyon sa akin.

"Sweetheart..."

"Why, Dad? I just don't understand this," gulong sabi ko. "Bakit niyo pa pinipilit ang mga sarili niyo kung imposible naman talaga na magkaayos pa kayo ni Mom?"

Pinagmasdan niya ako kaya iniwas ko ang tingin. Nasa loob kami ng kanyang opisina. Tatlong araw na ang nakalipas simula ng naabutan ko ang pag-aaway nila. Mom decided to move out temporarily. She went to her hometown in Catanduanes, where Ignacio family resides.

"Mahal ko ang Mommy mo."

"I don't buy that," I firmly said with a hint of sarcasm. "Your marriage is merely a product of a business agreement between the Herreras and the Ignacios to empower further both families by sharing wealth and influences. Iyan ang tradition ng mga Herrera noon, hindi ba? Pumalya lang kay Tito Javier kaya ikaw ang sumalo ng kamalasan."

Dad smiled a bit. Maybe it's just my mind playing again, but I saw something in his eyes that crossed for a few seconds. It's in the form of pain and misery.

"Sana gano'n nga lang..." he said with a sigh. "It might have been easy for me to let her go with all the issues I'm facing now. She would have been free from all the criticisms and ridicule."

I clenched my fist and looked out the window.

How could he remain pretending to be a concerned husband in front of me when the whole country knew his secret affair? When all his pictures with a mistress were shared and trended for three days in a row? Gusto kong umirap pero pinigilan ko.

"Pero ano man ang sitwasyon namin ngayon ng Mommy mo, hindi iyon rason para tapusin ang kung anong meron kami. Kasal man dahil sa negosyo o kasal dahil sa pagmamahal, hindi ako magpapa-annul. Tunay kong mahal si Sarah at hindi ko kayang gawin iyon sa kanya."

Liar.

I wanted to say that out loud but I ended up keeping it.

"Hayaan na muna natin ang Mommy mo na magpalamig ng ulo. She deserved a break because of too much exposure to our companies' problems and other issues being thrown at me."

Bumalik na siya sa pagpirma ng ilang papeles na nakatambak sa kanyang mesa. Nahagip ng tingin ko ang picture frame na nasa gilid niya. It was us. It's when we visit the Basílica de la Sagrada Família in Spain. I was only five years old at that time. Nakangiti ako at puno ng inosente ang mga mata.

Naalala ko noong bata pa ako, hindi ko maintindihan ito. Kung bakit iba ang turing ng mga magulang ko sa isa't-isa. Why my parents aren't sweet while my classmates parents were. Why they have two separate rooms. Why we never eat in one table. Noong lumaki na ako, saka ko pa lang naunawan lahat.

I even remember crying to Manang Nery just because I realized that I was only a product of a forced family. Lumaki ako sa pamilya na hindi alam kung ano ba ang kahulugan ng totoong pagmamahal. I only witness my parents nonstop fighting, blaming, and hurting throughout my growth. But never the love. Never that one. And that... scared me.

Mapait akong napangiti.

"May itatanong ka pa ba, sweetheart?" si Dad nang mapansin ang pananatili ko sa kanyang opisina.

Nakatutok pa rin ang mga mata niya sa papel. He did not saw my glistening tears so I blinked them away. Pinunasan ko rin ang gilid ng mga mata bago bumuntong hininga. I actually have another question aside from what I asked him a while ago. It was a question that's been bothering me for quite some time now. Gusto ko lang maliwanagan na kahit papaano.