Setting: Hamilton High School in Los Angeles, California
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Antidepressants weren't something to mess around with. It was a prescribed drug that makes all the sadness go away and makes your life better. It was a drug that most people took for the rest of their lives so they wouldn't loose their battle to depression. Mae wasn't suicidal, she's thought about what it would be like but never actually considered it.
The scariest thing about antidepressants was how fast they worked. You take one every morning or night and in just a few hours, life is better. Yes, Mae had her episodes every now and then but that was it. Sometimes she forgot she was even depressed because she felt so good. But she was reminded at the end of the day when they wore off that her life wasn't so great and that she didn't feel good. And that fucking sucked.
The only people that knew about Mae's diagnosis was her therapist, and her family. She didn't bother telling anyone else because why did they need to know? She's debated telling Adeya. It felt like she was keeping a secret from her. And Adeya wasn't her favorite person right now. They barely talked anymore because Adeya had made new friends—better friends— and she left Mae behind.
Most people would say Mae had the perfect life, and she did. She had everything she's ever wanted at the tip of her fingertips, yet she was depressed. What would people say? They would call her ungrateful, a spoiled brat, a liar. Maybe she was ungrateful. Maybe she should learn to love her life a little more. That was easier said than done.
"Umm, hello? Are you even listening?" Adeya asked. They sat together at lunch for the first time in weeks and Adeya could not stop rambling on about how amazing her life had been recently.
"Sorry, say it again." Mae apologized. It was obvious that Mae wasn't listening. She would drift off and escape reality, being consumed with her own thoughts. Her doctor called it dissociation and it was linked to her depression. Most times she would pinch herself to keep from floating away but right now, she couldn't care less.
"Ugh, like I was saying, me and Kaylah were..." Adeya's voice trailed off as Mae began to dissociate again. Mae had heard enough of Kaylah. She was replacing Mae as Adeya's best friend and Mae couldn't stand it. The saddest part was, Adeya was letting her.
Adeya did bother to hang out with Mae anymore. She would say that Mae needed to rest and shouldn't be out with her. Mae was fine. Her leg was healing perfectly and she no longer needed her crutches to support her when she was walking. Of course, she was still wearing her leg brace but she was slowly getting back to normal. Mae didn't understand why Adeya never wanted to hang out with her anymore. Before, they were best friends and couldn't stand going two seconds without each other. But now, Mae couldn't stand to look at Adeya.
"Dude! You're not listening again!" Adeya started to grow annoyed.
"Sorry! I have a lot on my mind right now." Mae lied. A side effect of the antidepressants was insomnia and Mae was currently running on three hours of sleep.
