all i ever knew (eren jaeger x fem!oc)

episodic memory

I'm fourteen.

The fuzzy, static tunes of our kitchen radio play calmly in the background, a fan set between the window panes is conducting its song.

Together, our humble family of five sits at our thrifted dinner table full of scratches and permanent marker scribbles from far too many thin-papered colouring books.

Sunlight showers the whole room in a surreal warmth as my mother and father help to dish out a plate of lasagna for each of us kids.

"Now, Ara," my father begins with a wide grin, "I wanted to take the time today to remind you of how proud I am of you. Your recent report card shocked both your mother and I with how incredible you're doing, but good grades or not, we're so proud of the young woman you're becoming."

I giggle as my cheeks blush the colour of cotton candy, swinging my feet beneath my chair. My parents always made sure we sat together at dinner so they could spend the time to let us know just how valuable we were to them.

"Yes, honey. We're so, so very proud of how hard you're working. And we're excited that you keep wanting to try more things!" My mom encourages before continuing, "But always remember to tell us if it's too much. We'll do whatever we can to support you."

She hands the steaming dish to me as I mutter an embarrassed, but filled with delight, "Thank you. Love you both lots."

"And we love you, too," my mother sweetly smiles. She picks up Asher's plate and begins filling it up. "Asher, you got your report card back today, didn't you?"

Immediately, my youngest brother bows his head in shame with a defeated, "Yeah..."

"Hey now," my father interjects with tenderness, "We hold our heads high in this household."

"But it wasn't very good," he stammers out, carefully grabbing the plate from my mother's grasp as she watches him carefully, "I'll never get grades like Ara did."

My father lovingly lifts Asher's chin up. "We hold our heads high in this family no matter what, because good or bad, we still love you more than you can imagine. We don't love you for your grades or what other people may give you achievements for, we love you for who you are."

"We know you try your very best," my mother adds on, "And we're so proud of you every day. We'd show you off to the whole world if we could."

"Yeah! And you're like a super hero to me!" the eldest of the two younger, Oliver, speaks up with lasagna already coating the outside of his mouth.

Asher now sits up with pride as my mother chuckles at Oliver's mess. She turns to me with compassion laced in her golden eyes.

"Ara, could you head to the cabinet over there and grab our napkins?"

"Of course, mom!" I perk up and turn my back to my family, using my tippy toes to reach the plastic set encasing the paper napkins.

Failing to take it properly into my hands, I begin to jump and hit at them until I swipe in the wrong direction, causing them to come falling down to the ground.

They land with an impact so strong it causes the ground to crumble slightly around it.

The music ceases.

Our fan becomes a weary noise of clanking and screeching metal left to face the drastic weather for far too long.

The ground that broke a part around the napkins is now a deep grey instead of the yellow, vibrant tile. An intense wind gusts eerily through the now cracked window pane, causing the fan to crash down.