Episode 88

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How was it like to be pregnant alone for the first time?

1- I discovered I was pregnant around the seventh week.

I was very busy with work around that time to care for my self, I only suspected I was pregnant because I was feeling tired and nauseous most of the time and it was happening for a hell much longer to just assume I was nauseous because I ate bad food, I took the test one morning, and when it came out positive, I had no idea what to do or what to think, so I called my husband who was then at work, much not to my surprise though, it was his secretary who answered and said he was at an important meeting.

I remember taking the day off after much trouble, then going to consult at the gynecologist alone, where I was informed not only about my pregnancy, but also about my particular case.

I went back home soon after, then spent the whole day just sitting alone and staring at space, I wasn't happy that I was pregnant at all, in fact, I spent a long time only blaming my self for not taking contraception and thinking how would I bring a child to live among Eliyas and I? How could we love and care for a child  when we neither loved or cared for eachother?

Our relationship was so bad at the time that even when I was informed I was pregnant I didn't think it was necessary to inform him immediately.

While having dinner that day, Eliyas who was sitting right beside me on the table suddenly bent closer towards me and he whispered:

_" come to my bureau after dinner, I need to speak with you."

I remember turning to look at him and thinking that perhaps he knew somehow already, or else why would he ask to see me so suddenly?

It's funny how we were so distant that having a simple conversation became so extraodinary.

When I headed to his bureau later with the hopes of getting his support in my difficult situation I was surprised to meet a very angry looking man, he was leaning on his desk crossing his arms and facing me, when I first stepped inside he immediately ordered:

_" Sit down Noursine."

As I did that, he extended his arm to hold his tablet then placing it in front of me he icily asked:

_" tell me .. What's this?" 

I took the device, and checked..

The moment I did that my heart just sank, because I saw the article draft I sent to my superior the day before on the screen, so after all, he just wanted to speak with me because of work.

_" This is the article I've been working on." I replied.. I raised my head to face him confidently and added:

_" I won't ask how this supposedly confident draft ended up between your hands before it was even published because I know how resourceful you are, but why though? Why do you have it?"

_" Are you aware you're accusing The Ghaladi himself of theft? Are you even aware of the danger you're throwing yourself into? This article is full of nonsense, that is to begin with.. Both your accusation and proofs are not valid, I checked them all ages before my self, still you're willingly jumping to fire using this."

_" it is my superior's work" I began to explain.. " I was only assigned to write the final draft, I checked our sources though, everything is genuine and true, I won't willingly accuse someone if I was not sure."

_" Are you saying I'm lying to you?" he coldly asked as he properly stood up and crossed the step between us.

I stood up as well, and while staring at him I continued:

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