Chapter 12 • almost in love

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Matthew

Grace stumbled out of what I imagined to be her room. I examined her face as she studied mine.

"Alright. I would like to leave now."

Her voice cracked on the last half, but I pretended I didn't hear it, "Are you sure?"

She nodded briskly, "Let's go find your dad."

My stomach filled with butterflies, my head started to ache.

"Where? How?"

Grace shrugged, leaning against the wall.

"What was the one thing he loved the most?"

Biting my lip I looked away. I knew the answer, it was my mom, and my family. The one and only thing my dad loved more than his job, was us. But that meant going back to the place I was forced to call home, with Grace, and that meant explaining to Grace how and why I died.

Or killed myself.

The thought gave me chills.

On top of that, having to see my mom. After seeing the empty, broken household of what used to be Grace's home, I could only imagine mine.

Grace's family knew she was going to die, it was inevitable. But my death wasn't a predicted date on the calendar, it was a surprise as good as any, and my mom, my poor mom, was anything but prepared. For that, I felt the worst.

But if that was where my dad would be, then I had to find him, to talk to him. My house wasn't even that far from Grace's, just a town over, surprisingly.

So, I acknowledged Grace with a slight nod and turned to exit the small house with her following closely behind me.

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All I can say is we walked forever. We walked and walked and walked. Occasionally making jokes or playing games. But the miles were long and miserably boring and tiring.

I didn't even want to be going back to the house I left a short month ago, but my feet never stopped moving, and Grace never stopped following. Down the streets, through the town, in the neighborhoods. She was always one step behind me, and that comforted me more than anything else. I couldn't imagine my life without her, she held me together and made me wish to live again, only if we could be real and have a relationship.

Ugh Matt. Stop thinking. It's only going to depress you. In truth, I think that I may have had a small crush on Grace, but I knew logically that it could never blossom. Not how we were.

The journey finally ended when I stopped in front of the tall two story house. Grace stopping directly beside me. She looked up and admired the beauty, it was in fact a gorgeous house. My dad wasn't poor, and he paid the house off quickly, so my mom could live without working.

My dad, the only reason I came. I almost turned around to go back the way I came, but instead started to take a step forward. Stopping half way, I stood still. I couldn't do this, what if my mom was on the other side, what if Nancy or Luke were there. I couldn't see them, I'd break down if they were anything but okay because it would ultimately be my fault. I had done this to them. I had done this to myself.

Out of no where I felt Grace's hand slide into mine and my lungs let out a breath, releasing the tension in my muscles. I thanked her, though only to myself, as I found the strength to walk up the drive.

For Grace. For my dad.

For my dad.

I repeated the words to myself until I found myself at the door, and slowly passing through it. Once inside, the familiar lavender scent of the house gave me a bittersweet feeling. But the front room was empty, and for that I was grateful. I trudged up the stairs and up to my room, but I stopped, standing frozen in front of the door.

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