Chapter 11 • almost satisfied

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Grace's POV:

The car was familiar, but a distant memory I had lost once I checked into the hospital.

A smell of cinnamon lightly danced in my nose as I looked around the interior of the mini van. The floor had a few pieces of scattered paper and one or two of what I assumed to be Annie's toys. If you looked close enough you could catch a few strands of golden fur from our Golden Retriever, Daisy.

It all felt, well, at home, and I instantly felt a wave of relief, I had found mom, and the car was the same. Everything was okay. At the same time, I held myself back from weeping. Mom was a wreck because of me and the guilt was weighing heavily on my shoulders. I think the worst feeling of all was I couldn't get this back. I couldn't be a part of her life anymore. Only she could be a part of mine... Absent-mindedly of course.

Matt sat beside me in the back seat of the van as my mom backed out of her parking spot. He hadn't spoken really since we had gotten here, but then again, I wasn't really listening. He sat quietly, as if he were forbidden to speak, though I felt like we had made a silent agreement not to talk about the subject. I felt bad for leaving him stranded outside of the loop, but with that being said, Matt knew more of my secrets than anybody else, and I knew I could trust him with one more.

Meeting my family.

I always imagined introducing my parents to the first boy I met, my mom gushing over his eyes, my dad joking about his truck, but being serious about his gun.

Okay maybe not the gun part.

But I realized now there was major flaw in my imagination. I was dead and so was Matt, they would never be able to see Matt, much less meet him and gush over his beautiful eyes. And, Matt was only my friend. Part of me frowned at the thought, I couldn't quite tell why.

Tears formed in my eyes when I thought of my life being snatched away from me and things I would never experience. Like driving a car, going to college, having kids of my own; the simple liberties were stolen from me and I hated it.

The thoughts dissolved as I felt Matt's hand on mine, and I couldn't remember what I was thinking about. I let my, probably swollen, eyes meet Matt's and I found his already on mine. But this time, I didn't look away. He used his free hand to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear and leaned closer to me. My heart beat accelerated as he decreased the space between us.

My gaze fell to his lips but only for a second, though a second was more than enough. I had never noticed before, but they were beautiful, at least as beautiful as lips could be. I glanced back up and his eyes were still on mine. I blushed profusely but kept my eyes firmly on his. This reminded me of all the cheesy scenes I had watched in romantic films on the outdated hospital TV. I blushed even more profusely.

He whispered even though no one could hear us, "Don't cry."

"Why?"

He averted his eyes, as if for his own benefit, and leaned away but not without a quick squeeze of my hand, even though it didn't cure the emptiness and longing he left inside me.

"Life's too short." He smirked to himself and I felt a smile rise on my lips.

"Oh shush."

He chuckled slightly, "At least I got you to smile."

I bit my lip to keep from smiling again.

"How fortunate."

"Yes, really I am, I have my life back, I have fun now, not to mention I have a beautiful new bff," He paused and winked at me and a blush crept onto my cheeks as he continued, "That means best friends forever. Or however long this 'heaven' lasts."

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