Delicate | James Potter

2.24

January felt as though it existed outside of reality. Alice was floating through the days, each one practically the same, with little motivation to do anything. Apparition lessons began but she was making zero progress. Perhaps it was the fact she was partnered with Elouise Raken from Slytherin, who scoffed at her with each failed attempt - she'd had no one else.

In fact, for the entire month, Alice had been feeling very much alone. She'd sit with the Gryffindors at dinner, or in the common room to do homework, yet she still felt like an outsider. It was as if she were watching herself from a distance, too far away to join in. This unsettling feeling had led to her spending the majority of her free time either in her room, in the quiet corners of the castle, or down by the boat sheds. It was peaceful there, and by reading she didn't have to think about the things that were making her sad.

At first she thought she was getting better, but then little things would send her crashing back down. Dorcas avoiding her eye in the hallways, for example, or glancing in a mirror only to see herself, not her friend. She'd be hit with a punch to the gut every time she woke up and realised how different things were. Alice wished every morning she could go back in time.

February was cause for excitement for the majority of the school because it meant Valentine's day was on the horizon. The Prewett twins were spreading the word quickly about a party in the evening, but everyone was still finding dates to Hogsmeade during the day. It fell on a Monday, yet Dumbledore had allowed classes to be cancelled after lunch.

Of course Alice had no plans, and she didn't really expect herself to attend any party. The main surprise of the year was when James Potter didn't make any sort of grand gesture to ask Lily Evans out. Alice wondered briefly about that.

Any thought she might have had was ruined, however, when she spotted him making out with Evangeline at said party. That hurt. She supposed she only had herself to blame; they hadn't had a proper conversation since Christmas Eve which was almost two months ago now. Two months. Of course he wasn't waiting for her. She'd been stupid to think anything along those lines. She'd distanced herself, it was her own fault.

The emotions just kept piling, so when Patronus sessions started up again and Alice did even worse than before, she guessed why. It was harder to feel happier knowing she had to simply 'move on'. It was still frustrating, however, when she couldn't even conjure a non-corporeal Patronus. She knew her Professors knew about June's death, she knew that's why they weren't pushing her for doing so terribly recently, but part of her wished they'd maybe reach out.

On the bright side, at least Sirius and Remus were talking again. Alice had noticed their conversations, their smiles, and their glances. She noticed the way their knee's would brush under the table and their hands would linger against the other. Whatever had happened on Christmas Eve had healed them, she just wasn't sure how no one else had noticed quite how close they'd become. She hadn't seen Sirius smile so much in months.