Secret behind blue eyes

Winter Soldier

Y/N POV:
After a week of researching I found more awful information about the "Winter soldier" project. HYDRA would torture people and then brain washed them into becoming an assassins that will kill anyone and everyone HYDRA wanted them to. I found out that James was kidnaped by HYDRA after he supposedly died on mission back in 1940s. He was turned into a super soldier thanks to serum similar to one Steve had in his blood. They replaced his broken arm with metal one and wiped out all of his memories using electricity. They would put him on ice every time he started to remember or becoming more of himself. That's how he survived all those years from 1940s. I started to feel bad for him even though I didn't know him. But nobody should ever experience what he had. Unfortunately I could not find any more about where he is now since we took down all HYDRA bases and agents. So I asked myself, were would a man without history and with nothing to lose go? I assumed he was himself now, because a time has passed without someone trying to wipe out his mind. I couldn't even imagine how lost and scared he must feel all alone, without any memories of his past life but just with those of him doing terrible things he couldn't control.
Thinking about all that I didn't realized how late it was seeing Steve walk towards me with concerned look. "Y/N, what are you doing up? Trouble sleeping?", he asked.
"No, I just got lost in my mind, didn't realize how late it was already", I replied not wanting to share my thoughts but somehow he knew.
"You thinking about that man again, the one that attacked you?", he said giving me kind of an angry yet concerned look.
"Yes, but...", I said in defeat before he cut me off.
"Oh, Y/N, you need to let it go.", he told me giving me a tight hug. He always did this when he was scared for me. And I'm not gonna lie, I loved it. It made me feel safe and I always knew I could count on him. He was such a good friend.
"I know, Steve...", I said turning my head to meet his eyes, "...but don't you think we should help him, I mean you've seen what he had gone trough. He is the victim, and I mean isn't that what Avengers should be all about? Helping people? Either way, I decided to help him and if you and Tony don't want to help me, I understand. I'll do it alone. ", I said with determination in my voice.
" Ugh... No, no you won't...",Steve sighed.
" What do you mean? ", I asked. thinking that is going to try to stop me.
" You are not doing it alone... Look, I don't know about Tony but I will help you. ", he said.
"You sure?, I asked surprised.
" Well, if it is that important to you, then it is important to me.", he said smiling a little.
" Thank you! ", I replied returning a small smile.  Steve and I  looked for James for weeks and didn't find anything for almost 2 months. I almost wanted to give up when new mission came up.
" Avengers, suit up. We are going to Romania.", Tony said as he came in the main room.
"Romania? But why?", I asked him confused. I was never on a mission outside the United States.
" Well, J. A. R. V. I. S. just located the man that attacked you. He is in Bucharest, so you can finally get you're revenge on him, Y/N.", he replied. I instantly got nervous knowing that if Tony finds him first he will not hesitate to kill him. I looked at Steve nervously but he just gave me a small reassuring smile.
After that meeting I just went to my room worrying about what would going to happen on that mission. After a few minutes I heard knock on my door. It was Steve.
"Hey, I just wanted to make sure you're OK, after what happened on meeting.", he said giving me concerned look.
"I'm worried Steve, what if Tony finds him first, he won't hesitate to kill him. He won't listen what I have to say about him or his time in HYDRA.", I replied looking back at him worried. To be honest even though Tony rescued me back in the days I never really trusted him as much as I trusted Steve.
"Then we will find him first!", Steve smiled at me setting my mind at ease. I knew that I could always count on him.
Next morning we were all packed boarding in a jet. After a long flight, which was not pleasant at all, not gonna lie, we finally landed in Bucharest.

We stayed in some expensive hotel which Tony paid for of course. News were filled with James's picture. He was wanted all across Europe ever since he escaped from HYDRA. In Romania,  authorities offered rewards for any information about dangerous man. We couldn't wait for them to find him so we began our own search. After two days street camera caught James on street market. We tracked him to an old building were he was living in small apartment. We were getting ready to go and find him but before we left I had to talk with Tony. I had to convince him to let me go in first. 

"Hey, Tony... Can we talk for a second?", I asked pulling him aside.

"Sure, kid... What's up? Oh, wait... You don't actually still thinking about saving that man? Y/N, he attacked you!" ,Tony said.

"His name is James and yes, I am still thinking about saving him. I know that he attacked me but, Tony that wasn't him. Please, let me  go in first. I've been with you and Steve for over a decade now ,I know how this stuffs work. " 

" Fine, you'll  have 30 minutes before me and Nat come in and kick his ass." , he sighed.

" Hm...okay, thank you!" , I said happily.

After we arrived on a location I asked Steve to let me go in alone. I decided to go as a friend thinking that to many people might upset him. I knocked on a door, hearing footsteps approaching  from  another side of the door I could also hear he had  gun. I was little bit afraid at this moment but still sure in my decision. He opened door and froze. I could see confusion in his eyes.

"Hi, I'm Y/N..." ,I said smiling a little not knowing how is he going to react. 

"You...You....I....I know you...", he said.  I could hear his voice shaking.

"You do?", I asked surprised. I didn't expect that he would remember me after all this time. 

"Yeah...you....I...I attacked you...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to....I...it wasn't me..." ,he said in shaky voice taking a step back drooping the gun on the floor.

"It's ok... I know it wasn't your fault. I believe you.  That's actually why I'm here. I want to help you. You have to believe me " , I said calmly. 

"You seem like a nice person but you have to understand that after all I've been trough why I have problems trusting people.", he said and even chuckled a little . 

"Yeah, I understand...Let's start again. I'm Y/N Y/L/N or you may also know me as Y/C/N ,you know member of famous Avengers...", I said smiling  a little "...and ever since you attacked me I saw something in your eyes, something that told me that is not you so I wanted to find you to help you." ,I said trying to get him to trust me.

"I heard about you and the Avengers over TV, you guys are some type of heroes, right? Then why you want to save me? ", he asked with concern in his voice. 

"Well... as my friend Thor would say...Because that is what heroes do, besides you are a victim here. No one should gone trough things you have gone trough." ,I said giving him a smile. He smiled back.

"So will you come with me then? " ,I asked.

"Yes. I don't know why but I trust you." ,he smiled.

I contacted Steve and Tony over the coms telling them that everything is fine and that James is coming with us and that they don't need to be afraid. We came outside the apartment meeting with Tony and Steve. As we were getting closer to them I could see James clenching his fists nervously. 

"It's ok...They are on your side. Same as me." ,I whispered taking his hand gently into mine. He flinched at my touch for a second but immediately relaxed. 

"Thank you", he said looking me in the eyes with his ocean blue eyes. Every time he looked at me with those eyes I couldn't help myself but to have this strange feeling like I could fell in love with them every second even though I just met him.

We returned to the tower and James stayed in my room since I was the only one he trusted and someone had to look out for him. He slept in additional bed that was set in my room in case I had some friends visiting.