Secret behind blue eyes

Never Leave You All Alone

Y/N Pov:
Days passed into months and months became  years. Now it was almost a year and a half since Bucky first came to live with us... Well me... in the Avengers tower. He actually became a good friend with everyone especially Steve, but he still did not trust Tony and Tony didn't trust him.
He is still staying in my room because he feels safer that way and to be honest so do I. I love being close to him. When I'm with him it's like I can be who I really am without pretending and that is something I never felt in my life as it was so messed up since the begining and even more so in last few days. Why? Well, I just recently found out who was  responsible for creating Ultron, that giant killer robot who destroyed my city.... It was Tony, the same guy who saved me and the same guy who I looked up to all this years. I was so hurt that at first I yelled at Tony so bad for a really long time until I just broke down in tears. I cried and when he tried to comfort me I just run off to my room storming in slamming the doors behind me.
"Hey, doll, what's wrong?", Bucky asked with sadness in his voice and concern in his ocean eyes.
I loved when he called me doll and as soon as I looked in his eyes all my troubles seemed smaller. I got lost in my mind just looking in them.
"Doll... Wanna talk about what just happened?", he said as he came closer to me and pulled me into a hug.
I snapped out of my imagination and sighed: "Ugh... I told you how my city was destroyed by the robot, right? Well, I just found out that Tony was responsible for creating him."
"WHAT?! That son of a.... I'm gonna kill him", he went on full "winter soldier" mode.
"Woah, Woah... Easy there cowboy.... I don't want to kill him or you to kill him.", I said laughing a little.
"Yeah...you right.... It's just...you are my weakness Y/N and I go crazy when I see you upset. W-what can I do to make you feel better?", he asked with a little smile. This words  melted my heart and I started having butterflies. Wow, is this really happening? Am I falling in love with him? Does he feel the same? I had all of those questions in my head but I wasn't ready to know the answer to them yet.
"You don't have to do much. Just please, hug me and stay with me. Your presence and support is all I need right now, Buck." I said leaning my head onto his shoulder looking at his eyes.
He smiled: "Of course, doll, I'll never leave you all alone". 
I smiled back at him and just snuggled back into his arms. We stayed like that in silence for few minutes just enjoying ourselves.  That's another thing I liked about Bucky, we could be together in silence and it wasn't awkward. It was very peaceful moment when all of a sudden I heard knock on my door. I jumped up to open the door to see Steve standing there with concern in his eyes.
"Steve.... What's wrong? You look like you've seen ghost.", I said panicking a little.
"Y/N...you know Clint and Nat went on the mission in Siberia... Right?", he started.
"Yeah....so..",I asked panicking more now. I knew they went on some type of a rescue mission. It shouldn't be hard, especially not for them but...
"Well, it was trap. They got attacked by HYDRA operatives and that S. H. I. E.L.D agent they supposed to save....It turns out that he was a double agent all this time.", he said.
"HYDRA?! But didn't we took all of them down?", I asked.
"We thought so... But agent Rumlow was giving all of our top secret information to HYDRA so they hid. Look, Y/N, I don't have time to explain. Clint is hurt... bad... and we lost communication with Nat... Y/N, someone needs to save them and Tony is not home. He was upset after your argument and left the tower and I can't reach him now. I need your help. ", he said.
I didn't know what to do. I was so happy in my little bubble with Bucky and I didn't want to leave him but I couldn't leave Nat and Clint... He is my best friend and Nat is like my big sister.
I looked Steve and said:" Just give me a sec, please.". I closed the door and looked at Bucky with scared and confused look.
"Go...", he said.
"But... How?! You.... You will be alone. I....", I started but he cut me off.
"I'll be fine, doll. Go save your friends. Just  promise me one thing. You will be careful and you come back to me, ok?", he said gently stroking my face.
"I promise...I'll never leave you all alone", I said smiling. In this moment I just wanted to kiss him but I was too scared he would freak out.
I opened the door and saw Steve still standing there.
"So...", he asked.
"Of course I'm going just give me 20 minutes to pack and we can go.", I said.
"OK, I'm already packed so I'll meet you outside the jet.", he said.
I came back into my room and started with packing. I took just a few necessary things and when I finished I hugged Bucky goodbye and left.
Bucky POV; 
It was 5 days since Y/N and Steve left on mission. For all this time I was completely alone. I couldn't wait for Y/N to come back. Ever since she left I had nightmares almost every night and waking up without her by my side was a disaster but at least I couldn't hurt her on anyone else. One night I fell  asleep when I heard Tony coming home from I don't know where. It was late and he was obviously drunk as I heard him yelling something I didn't understand so I went back to sleep thinking that I'm safe in Y/Ns room but I was wrong. Tony kicked the door and grabbed my arm and tried to punch me with his other arm on which he had armor yelling: "Stop pretending to be good, Barnes! I see you for who you really are! You are MONSTER. HYDRAs little pawn. You killed people! You tried to kill Y/N! I'm gonna kill you!
In this moment my instincts kicked in. I pushed him off of my self sending him flying into the wall. I regretted it the same moment but I had to defend my self. "Stark, STOP!I don't wanna hurt you. I don't wanna hurt anyone", I said but he didn't want to listen except he hit me with arc reactor power from his suit and knocked me out. I woke up in some type of a cage. I didn't recognize the room I was in. As I was trying to figure out where am I, I heard Tony's voice who was clearly more sober now then he was last night. "Well, Barnes, you finally got what you deserve. "
"Stark, please... Let me out or at least let me explain what happened to me.", I begged him to listen.
"Oh, I don't wanna hear your sad little story about how you were controlled by HYDRA. It doesn't matter, you are a monster and as such you belong to the cage.", he said, turned around and left leaving me just with my thoughts.
I started panicking. I wasn't great with small spaces and dark so my mind started to play tricks on me.
I saw the images of myself hurting Y/N and Steve and in time I started to believe Tony's words that I am a monster. All I could think of to calm myself down is that I know Y/N is somewhere out there and I believed that she would save me. She was the only one keeping me alive in this moment. Time was passing by and I didn't  know what time of a day or even what day it was but for me it seemed like forever. All of a sudden I heard Tony and Y/N yelling....arguing....again. I was glad that she was back but in the same time I started panicking. I didnt want  them to fight because of me.